Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programme (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Mandatory social services

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are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject services. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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part of

the

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apply

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secondary education in some countries. Many parents opine they are valuable experience to their adolescents, whereas antagonists feel that they could be a waste of time. From my point of view, Participating in communal activities are beneficial to youngsters' personal growth but they should be voluntary to give students more flexibility. On one hand, compulsory involvement in unpaid social service may affect our pupils' study.

Verify preposition usage

apply

It appears that the preposition As may be unnecessary in this context. Consider removing it.

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Our students are already pre-occupied by a hectic learning schedule, they may end up being overwhelmed by these

extra curricular

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extracurricular

The word extra curricular seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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activities.

For instance

, giving regular sports classes to younger kids requires weekly commitment even if our student tutors need more time to prepare for school.

This

may lead to less effort

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into

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studying and ultimately affect their academic performance.

Therefore

, students should get to follow their own will and decide whether they could handle their studies as well as extra social commitments.

On the other hand

, joining charity and neighbourhood events could

boalster

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bolster

The word boalster is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

the social development of our younger generations. Not only do they could expand their social network and meet people from all walks of

live

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life

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, but

also

they could be encouraged to contribute

wihtout

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without

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asking for return. Giving is an ideal virtue of a model citizen and our society need more caring people to help those in needs.

For example

, love and care could be disseminated by visiting the elderly and chit chat with them.

This

could bring them pleasure and less loneliness. In conclusion, voluntary communal commitment is vital to our students' development as well as our

neighborhood

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neighbourhood

The spelling of neighborhood is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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. But the school should motivate students to take part voluntarily rather than forcing them.

Submitted by funder5torm710 on Mon Sep 07 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Include an introduction and conclusion

Support main points with an explanation and then an example

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical resource: 4.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 7.0

Answer all parts of the question

Present and fully explain ideas

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programme (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think news has no connection to people’s lives. So then it is a waste of time to read the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that professional photographers are not required nowadays whereas others disagree.

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase their spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extend do you agree?

Some people argue that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others believe that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.