IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

#people #advertisements #products #lives
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A lot
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
individuals believe that marketing can attract customers to
purchase
Use synonyms
 a lot of merchandise which will not be of necessity to them at the moment. On the hand
Add a comma
,
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it can be said that the role of marketing is to
educates
Change the verb
educate
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 people about any merchandise which can better our
day
Use synonyms
 to
day
Use synonyms
 living. I totally believe that marketing is very essential to us because it educates us about different goods and services, which can be of great value to our dealings. As believed by many scholars that marketing can motivate people to
purchase
Use synonyms
 items which might not be used at the moment. Marketing an attract people to look around and gain interest in purchasing several different products. I do not agree
to
Verify preposition usage
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 idea because you can choose not to
purchase
Use synonyms
 the product if you do not want to.
For instance
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
I went to my cellphone provider to change my cellphone plan and they told me about a promotion they were running for a new mobile phone. I did not
purchase
Use synonyms
 the mobile phone because I did not need it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
marketing can educate us about the different services and
Correct your spelling
goods
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good
Change the adjective
well
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 available in the market. Sometimes we can only get to know about something once
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 marketed to us very well.
For example
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
I cannot go and
purchase
Use synonyms
 a new microwave unless I gain knowledge about how it functions and the pecks of having one. So I totally agree that Marketing plays a very vital role in enhancing our
day
Use synonyms
 to
day
Use synonyms
 livelihood, Because in order for us to
purchase
Use synonyms
 something we need to know about that service before we acquire it.
Submitted by nyasha on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
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