Shopping has become a favorite pastime among young people. Why do you think it is like that? Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping

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Nowadays youth has several ways to enjoy their free time like going to the cinema with friends, play VR games , walking and chilling friends but shopping has been satisfying the cravings for myriads of youngsters.Today, I will discuss the necessity of young people to get involved in physical activities. With the utmost advancement in the showbiz industry and media industry, now fashion accessories are not only limited to celebrities,

however

, but every other individual can

also

enjoy the glamour and people of tender age attracts most towards

this

glamourous living. Apart from that, with the increasing number of magnificent malls with captivating attractions for people that cover from yummilicious food brands to luxurious clothing brands, indoor resorts and multiple surprising elements, that contributes to becoming, shopping one of the favourite hobbies for everyone.

For instance

, in the UK, 70% of the people used to go for shopping to freshen up the mind, as per the Oxford university student survey. Though enjoyment is crucial for a happy life,

nevertheless

, to incorporate a physically active lifestyle is more of a need. Free time can be positively utilized in outdoor games, like cycling, running, hockey, basketball etc.. Now being more dependent on technology, has increased our screen time and took away our athletic routine.

For example

,according to the survey in 2016, 36% of people of and above 18 years are overweight and the rate is increasing.

This

is possibly due to a lack of a healthy lifestyle and spending money more on fun part than on the practical part

that is

essential to lead a good life. In conclusion, a balanced lifestyle is very important for a person to survive happily and nurture the new generation in the right way.

Moreover

, an overdose of anything is dangerous so in order to maintain stability, adoption of some body-friendly activities would be a good initiative for a clean way to live life.

Submitted by jiya.naveed70 on Wed Sep 09 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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Shopping has become a favorite pastime among young people. Why do you think it is like that? Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

We can get knowledge from news. But some people even think we should not trust the journalists. What do you think? And what do you think are the important qulities that a journalist should have?

All over the world , the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer, What problem does this causes? How can we oversome the problems of poverty.

More and more countries are making University education completely free for their citizens. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

More and more students choose to move to other countries to study their higher education. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?