IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people government spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuse both view and give your opinion.

#people #government #money #train #subway #lines #traffic #congestion #roads #discuse
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Nowadays, traffic is a main problem in a variety of countries. Traffic is a murder, terrible and bumper-to-bumper, particularly during rush hours in mega-cities.
Thus
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, governments should address issues. Some people say building new subway lines is the best way to reduce jams. Others have the opinion that building new roadways plays a significant role.
This
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 essay will note the reasons for both comments. It is strongly recommended that many societies use public transport for moving everywhere, subway is by far the most popular means for folk because not only do they put away a pretty penny, but
also
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, they reach their destination on time, since there isn't any vehicles underground. Another good point is that, if society takes the metro, air pollution will die down,
in other words
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, the high number of cars on the road results in fuel,and the amount of carbon dioxide emissions has increased. So when governments spend money on building underground lines the public can have access to most locations.
Although
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 the subway has many privileges, some individuals prefer to drive their own cars. It is strongly believed that some communities tend to use single-occupancy cars, but in
this
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way
Add a comma
way,
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 they will face traffic. They say authorities are supposed to build new roadways in the urban area, plus underpasses and overpasses. Say to sad , an inadequate roadway capacity
also
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 gives rise to heavy jams in the city centre. Another view is that when everybody gets stuck in congestion, they feel like a fish out of water. The more the number of roads in a city, the more choices for drivers to select away. To put it simply building something
such
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 as new streets is one of the solutions to
this
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 problem. Taking into account both these sets of arguments, my point of view is that, building metro lines is better than building new roads. What truly contributes to a fall in the number of automobiles on the roads is equipping the metro system with more ways. City officials ought to be sure that
this
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 investment is of high logic.
Submitted by nc.rafeeha on

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relevant specific examples
Make sure to use specific examples or statistical data to better support your arguments. This will enhance the impact of your points and make your essay more persuasive.
clear comprehensive ideas
There is a need for more comprehensive development in some of the ideas. You discussed the benefits of subways and building roads, but offering more detail could strengthen your position.
introduction conclusion present
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, addressing the prompt effectively.
logical structure
The essay is logically structured with a clear focus on discussing both views before giving your opinion, which is good for coherence.
complete response
Your response directly addresses the prompt and both perspectives are discussed in a balanced way.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion relief
  • environmental sustainability
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure development
  • long-term solution
  • commute times
  • urban planning
  • traffic flow
  • efficiency and punctuality
  • investment returns
  • car usage
  • traffic management
  • community impact
  • natural habitats
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