IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangered species while others think it is a waste of valuable money. What is your opinion?

#people #money #species #waste
Nowadays, some individuals argue on the fact that if the expenditure on helping other
spieces
Correct your spelling
species
 in serious danger worth it or not. I personally believe that we should do something to save them, not just by spending money, but
also
 by changing our habits. Many animals are
dyeing
Correct your spelling
dying
show examples
 because of
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 issues, which are caused by human beings, and I think that
this
 is the main reason why we should act. In the modern society, almost everyone neet to move from a place to another for whether work, study or other purposes, and the mean of transport we choose to use the most
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 actually our personal cars.
This
 is one source of
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 pollution. When we drive our own car, it burns fuel and produces carbon dioxide, a gas which damages the air and causes
h
Add an article
the
show examples
igh temperature in the Earth.
Also
, many factories are the resource of
this
 dangerous gas, but we cannot stop them
Verify preposition usage
from
show examples
working if we aim to develop the
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 and the
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
.
Furthermore
, one other reason about why we should save endangered species is because we are the ones who are
destrying
Correct your spelling
destroying
 their home by not paying attention
on
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 the problem of recycling. A recent university report has shown some pictures about plastic bottles and plastic bags covering the entire surface of
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 lake. The same situation can be seen
also
 by some seasides. As many of us
knows
Change the verb form
know
show examples
, several turtles and other animals are
dyeing
Correct your spelling
dying
show examples
 for having eaten these plastic wastes. In conclusion, I strongly support the idea of saving species in
extintion
Correct your spelling
extinction
, because we are the
sourse
Correct your spelling
source
course
 of their troubles. But we should not just spend money to reach
this
 purpose, we should
also
 give more importance to recycling.
Submitted by faveramenteriderelz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: