Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from home and more children will study from home as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

#world #adults #work #home #children #study #computer #technology #development

The technological advances by far

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

made working and studying from the comforts of ones own

home

possible. Almost all urban homes are equipped with computers and laptops,

however

, I believe that

this

is not an entirely positive

developement

Correct your spelling

development

given the reduced human interactions and the implications of

such

advances.

Firstly

, mankind requires

the

Remove the article

apply

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daily interaction

such

as in a

work

or school setting. We experience better mental health with

intearctions

Correct your spelling

interactions

that promote our sense of safety, belonging and security.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, studies have shown that cardiovascular conditions are greatly improved through these many exchanges and

thus

, having to

continously

Correct your spelling

continuously

work

in a setting without stepping out gives rise to health implications. On the one hand, the reduction of pollution and resources occurs when travelling and the use of

facillities

Correct your spelling

facilities

is reduced. Without the need to drive to school or

work

and the overheads of lights and classrooms, our carbon footprint is lessened.

Also

, working or studying from

home

requires self-discipline as well as ensuring productivity and focus. As there are no time tables or schedules laid out as a plan, individuals are left on their own to ensure that they are

discliplined

Correct your spelling

disciplined

in their fields to meet their goals. In conclusion, while the many merits of both

home based

Add a hyphen

home-based

show examples

learning and

work

has on the environment, it is undeniable that the lack of interaction would give rise to a paramount of mental health issues. A balanced regime could prove

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

where days could be allocated to people to complete tasks between

home

and office.

Submitted by sanjani_basdeo on Wed Sep 09 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from home and more children will study from home as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome culture differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Electric cars will fully replace petrol and diesel-fuelled cars in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customer travel to large shoping malls to do their shoping. is this a positive or negative development.