IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people tend to take temporary jobs, for they have the time to do other things. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #jobs #time
It is true that these days many people have a tendency to choose momentary occupations so that they can have more spare
time
 to concentrate
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
other things. Despite some obvious drawbacks of
this
 trend, I would argue that these are outweighed by the advantages.  On the one hand, there are two major downsides when individuals take short-lived professions. Primarily, a temporary career does not have job security and the employers may be fired any
time
. They even not only have an unstable income but
also
 do not get the annual salary increments and benefits that regular
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
 employees get. Take pregnant women as a convincing example. If they take a long-term job, they are entitled to receive paid maternity leave for around 20 weeks.
In addition
, there will be less chance of career prospects. As a basic incentive system, intrigue employers to
work
 efficiently.
Therefore
, workers can find no allure of putting a lot of energy and enthusiasm to have their task done.
This
 is likely to have adverse effects on both themselves and the company where they
work
.
On the other hand
, I side with those who believe that the benefits are more significant than
such
 disadvantages.
Firstly
, momentary jobs bring people more flexible
time
 in term of
work
 schedule. That means they can make more
time
 for their beloved as well as spiritual and social values,
such
 as aesthetic values or philanthropic activities.
For example
, apart from being an English teaching assistant, I am
also
 a volunteer in Hanoi free tour guide organization, where I can help the foreign tourists broaden their horizons about Vietnamese culture and custom.
Moreover
, by doing temporary
work
, workers can
also
 get exposure to different kinds of workplace and personalities.
This
 helps them gain their working experience as well as adaptive abilities to a new environment.  In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential advantages of contemporary jobs are more significant than the possible disadvantages.
Submitted by zhangdi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: