Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Thanks to university advancements, many students are able to learn various subjects.
While
some believe that students should focus on their own studies to get high grades, I agree with those who feel that having both other subjects and their main
courses
can boost their creativity. On the one hand, it could be argued that being able to learn main
courses
efficiently is sufficient. Those who support
this
idea claim that taking
courses
which are not related to the major is not only beneficial but
also
harmful.
Consequently
, additional
courses
might reduce the sustainability of performance
as well as
a destructive influence on an individual's comprehension.
Moreover
, it is said that the more a student concentrates on the unnecessary subjects, the less he can deepen in the crucial ones. Having course assignments and projects in the additional course,
for example
, could prevent learners from doing their own tasks which leads to lower band scores.
However
, I believe that there are more arguments to suggest that taking extra programs impacts positively in several ways.
First,
it allows you to foster your hidden talents and make you become more innovative.
As a result
, if an individual tries his best to handle extra
courses
with the main ones, boosting self-confidence will be the smallest advantage.
However
, in my opinion, the most inevitable positive of
this
idea is that it will help you to learn time management. Take,
for instance
, the CEO of Amazon, Jeff Bezos, who mentioned in one of the conferences which was held in the US that he used to have an intensive curriculum which helped him to be skilful in time management.
To sum up
,
although
getting good grades for qualification is of high importance, having extra
courses
turns
Verb problem
brings
show examples
challenges to the opportunities.
Therefore
, I strongly believe that learners should take unrelated
courses
.
Submitted by mohamadhoseinvaeedi on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, consider elaborating more on the opposing view to balance your discussion. This will provide a more comprehensive evaluation of both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions for better flow and consistency. Ensure each point connects logically to the next throughout the essay.
task achievement
While the essay is clear and coherent, further support your main points with additional examples or evidence. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a nice frame to the overall discussion.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a strong command of English with clear ideas and relevant examples, such as the reference to Jeff Bezos.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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