Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Thanks to university advancements, many students are able to learn various subjects.

While

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some believe that students should focus on their own studies to get high grades, I agree with those who feel that having both other subjects and their main

courses

Use synonyms

can boost their creativity. On the one hand, it could be argued that being able to learn main

courses

Use synonyms

efficiently is sufficient. Those who support

this

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idea claim that taking

courses

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which are not related to the major is not only beneficial but

also

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harmful.

Consequently

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, additional

courses

Use synonyms

might reduce the sustainability of performance

as well as

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a destructive influence on an individual's comprehension.

Moreover

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, it is said that the more a student concentrates on the unnecessary subjects, the less he can deepen in the crucial ones. Having course assignments and projects in the additional course,

for example

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, could prevent learners from doing their own tasks which leads to lower band scores.

However

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, I believe that there are more arguments to suggest that taking extra programs impacts positively in several ways.

First,

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it allows you to foster your hidden talents and make you become more innovative.

As a result

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, if an individual tries his best to handle extra

courses

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with the main ones, boosting self-confidence will be the smallest advantage.

However

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, in my opinion, the most inevitable positive of

this

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idea is that it will help you to learn time management. Take,

for instance

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, the CEO of Amazon, Jeff Bezos, who mentioned in one of the conferences which was held in the US that he used to have an intensive curriculum which helped him to be skilful in time management.

To sum up

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although

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getting good grades for qualification is of high importance, having extra

courses

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turns

Verb problem

brings

show examples

challenges to the opportunities.

Therefore

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, I strongly believe that learners should take unrelated

courses

Use synonyms

mohamadhoseinvaeediMon Nov 04 2024

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task achievement

To achieve a higher score, consider elaborating more on the opposing view to balance your discussion. This will provide a more comprehensive evaluation of both perspectives.

coherence cohesion

Improve paragraph transitions for better flow and consistency. Ensure each point connects logically to the next throughout the essay.

task achievement

While the essay is clear and coherent, further support your main points with additional examples or evidence. This will strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a nice frame to the overall discussion.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a strong command of English with clear ideas and relevant examples, such as the reference to Jeff Bezos.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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