With the development of technology children are now living in a world that is completely different to what it was 50 years ago. What problems does this cause for society and the family?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
modern era, the world is changing a lot as compared to the past.
This
Linking Words
is only possible because of the
technology
Use synonyms
and with the help of it
Add a comma
,
show examples
people are able to do their work easily. But
this
Linking Words
development affects a lot on children. In the following paragraphs, I have some strong arguments to support my view. Commencing with, most of today's children are
depend
Change the form of the verb
depending
show examples
on
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
modern
technology
Use synonyms
and
this
Linking Words
is very dangerous for their future.
Firstly
Linking Words
, 90 percentage
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
kids
are spend
Change the verb form
are spending
show examples
their most of time on
c
Add an article
the
show examples
omputer and video games. Due to
this
Linking Words
reason
Add a comma
,
show examples
they are suffering from eye and
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
problems.
Secondly
Linking Words
, because of the mobile games
Add a comma
,
show examples
they are not aware of the
out door
Correct your spelling
outdoor
show examples
activities and its importance.
This
Linking Words
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
some demerits of modern development. So parents must have to keep an eye on their kids when they are using
this
Linking Words
type
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
ofelectronic
Correct your spelling
of electronic
devices.
Moreover
Linking Words
, recent
technology
Use synonyms
totally
canged
Correct your spelling
changed
pupiles
Correct your spelling
pupils
mentality about the world. As per 2016 government report, fighting games are the main source of child
vilonce
Correct your spelling
violence
in society.
For example
Linking Words
, school
studends
Correct your spelling
students
are prefer
Change the verb form
are preferred
show examples
to
figh
Correct your spelling
fight
fish
with
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
after plying pubg game in mobile. As per oxford university
resurch
Correct your spelling
research
, current
technology
Use synonyms
plays
m
Add an article
a
show examples
ajor role in
child related
Add a hyphen
child-related
show examples
problems, Which we are facing in society. To conclude, modern things totally changed
k
Add an article
a
the
show examples
id's life than
f
Add an article
a
show examples
ew
last
Linking Words
decades. So
g
Add an article
the
show examples
overnment and parents must have to encourage
this
Linking Words
child for positive use for
this
Linking Words
development. Because
this
Linking Words
is beneficial for the society as well as for the country.
Submitted by rushipatel1953 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: