IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

More and more adults are playing computer games. why do you think is the reason for this. what are the good and bad things about playing computer games.

#adults #computer #games #reason
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the current generation, the number of people of all ages playing
computer
 games is significantly rising. Gaming companies are making a huge amount of money since the demand for their products. Elderly people are inclined towards playing these games because of their loneliness and timepass. In
this
 essay, I am going to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of playing
computer
 games by elder people.
Firstly
, the main advantage of playing
computer
 games is that we do not need to participate physically and giving no scope for physical injuries. These games help people to develop skills like team spirit and determination.
For instance
, there is an online game called 'PUBG' where two teams of players are fighting to win the cup, we need to coordinate with our team members and need to motivate them to win as a team.
Moreover
,
computer
 games could be useful in relieving stress by releasing stress hormones.
However
, there are some negative things associated with playing online games.
Firstly
, elder people need to focus on
c
Add an article
a
the
show examples
omputer screen while playing games, which causes damage to the pupil in an eye and there
also
 some other health problems associated with playing these games.
In addition
, adults are wasting their precious time
by
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
playing
computer
 games
instead
 they could best make use of
this
 time by reading books or doing any physical activities. To sum up, there are both positive and negative features linked to playing
computer
 games by elderly people. I would suggest playing games physically with our neighbourhood
instead
 of using digital platforms.
Submitted by makkenapoornasaikumar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: