In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. What are the reasons for this trend? And what possible solutions could reduce this issue?

According to

the research conducted by the Polish Government, in 2018, there has been a 25% rise in felonies conducted by young people.

This

study has raised many questions in comparison to the numbers in the

ear

Correct your spelling

year

show examples

2000 when the offences by the youngsters were extremely low. With a striking peak in unlawful acts and no efficient way to help young individuals,

this

has become a concern for many.

This

paper focuses on the growing teen crime rate and examines the possible solutions.

To begin

, the shocking reason why the young generation is committing more crimes than before is because of the lack of

education

and support.

Children

do not enter

the

Correct article usage

show examples

life of crime without a reason, either it is a lack of fundamental resources or parental guidance, both ways, it is concerning. A prime example, a study published by Juvenile

Law

Review discovered, that 65% of the youngsters committed an illegal act

due to

the unavailability of guardian supervision. In some societies,

children

are not given attention and

education

about what is morally right or wrong, and

therefore

, youngsters find themselves making their own judgements.

Thus

, in some cases,the outcomes of their decisions result in trouble with the

law

Furthermore

, the solution to the problem is not

straight forward

Correct your spelling

straightforward

show examples

, the state authorities should review each person on a case-by-case basis. Despite that, a more common approach to all cases would be to educate

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

generation,

provide

Correct word choice

and provide

show examples

them with

further

education

, as most of them cannot afford to even stay at

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

The lawmakers

Correct article usage

Lawmakers

show examples

should make it compulsory to stay in school until the age of 18. To illustrate, UK

Law

recently changed

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

age policy,

as before

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

children

were only required to stay at school till 15, but many parents

complaining

Wrong verb form

complained

show examples

Change preposition

about and

show examples

and

Correct your spelling

show examples

increase in

misconducts

Fix the agreement mistake

misconduct

show examples

British

Rephrase

so British

show examples

Law

increased the age to 18.

In addition

this

, arranging a family counselling meeting with

proven

Correct article usage

a proven

show examples

efficacy rate when it comes to resolving issues of troubled

children

To conclude

, in the face of rapidly increasing crimes by teenagers. The aforementioned solutions; mandatory

education

and psychological therapy with a trained professional can be implemented

in reducing

Change preposition

to reduce

show examples

the crime rate.

Submitted by mehulsharma on Tue Sep 15 2020

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coherence cohesion

To further enhance coherence, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that directly links to the main thesis of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Make sure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are very smooth. Sometimes using transition words or phrases can help.

task achievement

For task achievement, ensure that the solutions proposed are discussed in more detail. This could make your arguments even more compelling.

task achievement

Make sure to address all parts of the question equally. The reasons given were clear and comprehensive, but a bit more elaboration on the solutions would balance the response better.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task prompt comprehensively, covering the reasons for the rise in teenage crime and offering potential solutions.

task achievement

The essay provides clear and relevant examples that enhance the arguments presented.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is strong, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are well-articulated, providing a good summary and closing argument respectively.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

356 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. What are the reasons for this trend? And what possible solutions could reduce this issue?

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

in some cultures children are often told that they can achive everything if they try hard. what are the advantages and disadvantages?

In recent years the family structures have changed as well as the family roles. What are the changes that are occouring. What do you think can be done to mend it?

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

After graduating from high school, some young people decide to start working right away instead of going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

Many people think that students should be allowed to choose the subject that they study in school, whereas others feel that they should choose the curriculum. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+