Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

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Over the

last

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two or three decades, the way that treating illnesses has changed drastically

due to

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the large number of private facilities.

As a result

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, a growing number of humans are choosing to be treated in personal hospitals.

However

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, is

this

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development positive, or are there more drawbacks than advantages? In

this

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essay, I will explore the pros and cons of commercial fitness services and try to draw some conclusions. I will start by looking at the advantages. One of the major plus points of treating commercial companies is the fact that these types of companies offer high-quality services.

In other words

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, these hospitals are well-equipped with modern technologies and have an opportunity to attract experts for operations.

Secondly

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, it might be said that there is a huge amount of money in the company

fond

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

That is

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to say, personal medical centers earn more money that's why have to pay big quantity taxes. On the whole private clinics help to fill the government budget.

On the other hand

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, private hospitals are very expensive for the poor social layer of the people. Namely, poor people can not afford to be treated in health facilities. In African countries,

for example

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, in there many humans are poor and can not enjoy health services. Because of

this

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most of them die early or suffer from long-term illness. Not only that, they violate conscience and morality for only their own benefit.

For example

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, they may tell patients to take medications, pills or treatments that are not actually necessary and may even be harmful.

To conclude

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, there are both positives and negatives of personal clinics.

Although

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commercial medical centres are costly personally, I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

uluga2002Wed Apr 16 2025

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task achievement

The introduction could be improved by providing a clearer thesis statement. Make sure to explicitly state your position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

task achievement

Try to develop your main points with more depth. For instance, instead of just mentioning that private hospitals are expensive, you could elaborate on the implications this has on society as a whole.

coherence and cohesion

Ensuring that the ideas flow logically from one to the next would enhance the coherence of your essay. Using linking phrases and more clear topic sentences can help improve this.

coherence and cohesion

You could strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed in the essay more succinctly and reiterating your position in a more compelling manner.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is well-structured and has clear paragraphs, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

You have included relevant examples that illustrate your points, particularly regarding the impacts of private healthcare on poorer populations.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cutting-edge technology
highly skilled professionals
patient experience
outcomes
personalized care
healthcare practitioners
competition
standards
government burden
public funds
prohibitively expensive
disparities
profitability
over-treatment
neglect
non-profitable cases
ethical concerns
financial status

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Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You are librarion at the library. A new resident has inquired about becoming a member of your library. In your letter: -welcome them and intradoduce the library -provide information about membership -write about the opening hours and borrowing policies of the library.

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Technology is being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.