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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that the primary function of a university should be to prepare students for the working world. Others argue that the purpose of university education is to provide knowledge for knowledge’s sake. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

It is often believed that universities should prepare
the
Correct article usage
apply
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students for the complete
job
Punctuation problem
job,
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whereas
Linking Words
 others think that colleges have a responsibility
of giving
Change preposition
to give
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 them
education
Correct article usage
an education
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 only. It is not their headache to prepare them to work in the market. In my point of view, colleges are responsible for providing learning as per their working environment. I will discuss both views and would like to elaborate in the
below paragraphs
Correct word order
paragraphs below
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.
To begin
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 with,
It
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it
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 is correct that
gives
Wrong verb form
giving
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 students complete knowledge is
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the college
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college
Check wording
college's
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 responsibility. But
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 studies must lead them to some good path.
For example
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, apart from the basic subjects in academics, they must introduce competitive books from the initial semester only.
Furthermore
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,
It
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it
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 helps them to crack the competitive exam for jobs in the initial stage itself.
Consequently
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, immediately after
passing
Verb problem
graduating from
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 the university,they
could
Verb problem
were
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 able to do the work and earn their living on their own. To continue with the second decision,
If
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if
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 the university focuses on the basic subject of academics, it might be like cramming the subjects that do not even help them to enter the working world.
Although
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,
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apply
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 without basic studies, children cannot survive because
from
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of
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the
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apply
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subjects like mathematics or data
structure
Add a comma
structure,
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 they cannot perform
the
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apply
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programming. On the other
side
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hand
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, they must have knowledge of their shortcuts to clear the entrance exam. So in my opinion, both
the
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apply
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basic and competitive education
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 necessary because if one cannot earn after gaining higher education,
then
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 there is no use
of
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in
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 passing the degree.
To conclude
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,
It
Fix capitalization
it
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 would be fine if both the comments go
on
Change preposition
apply
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side by side. It would really help the students to get knowledge
as well as
Linking Words
job
Correct article usage
a job
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 for their living.

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structure
Make a plan before you write. Start with a short view of both sides, then give your own clear view at the end.
language
Use simple, clear words. Check for grammar and spelling.
content
Give 1 or 2 clear examples for each point to show your idea.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas go from one to next.
content
You set out both sides and give an opinion.
structure
Paragraphs keep to one main idea each.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • vocational training
  • internships
  • practical experience
  • employability
  • intellectual exploration
  • critical thinking
  • job preparation
  • well-rounded education
  • partnerships with industries
  • academic curriculum
  • real-world experiences
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