Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #range #technology #gap #effect

There is no doubt that the latest

technical

Replace the word

technological

show examples

advancement improves our quality of life.

However

, there are some people who think that

this

cutting-edge technology

windens

Correct your spelling

widens

the gulf between the rich and the poor, in my opinion, I firmly object

this

argument because after the development, even, the economically stricken people

also

get equal opportunities. On the one hand, those who

are think

Change the verb form

think

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the internet has revolutionised the way we live.

In other words

, now, it is possible for anyone can contact their friends and family who live another part of the world through

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

online services.

similarly

, booking and travelling of air ticket were only affordable, irrespective of their social class.

For example

, in the past, it was expensive to possess a land phone

Verify preposition usage

show examples

Add an article

the

show examples

home, but currently, almost everyone has personal phones.

This

piece of equipment can use to control the day to day affairs more effectively as any rich man does.

On the other hand

, opponents of the above- mentioned argument point out that many new gadgets are so expensive that can be purchased by the elite members of

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society. The reason is that these are meant only to make

Add an article

the

show examples

ife of rich even comfortable and

elegent

Correct your spelling

elegant

For instance

, many modern kitchen

appliences

Correct your spelling

appliances

are bought by them

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and used on a regular basis. Apart from

this

, learning how to

incooperate

Correct your spelling

incorporate

these devices in houses are taught in private schools that never can be seen in public schools

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since it is not for the poor. In conclusion, people have a different concept whether the

technolgy

Correct your spelling

technology

has

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

impacts on humans or

this

increased the gap between various social class. I strongly think that

this

enhanced the quality of life

Verify preposition usage

show examples

all sectors of people. and minimised the differences.

Submitted by Sal on Wed Sep 16 2020

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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