Some people believe that to become successful in sports, one should have a natural talent. Others, however, think that perseverance and practice are more crucial to success. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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I should mention that naturally gifted people can achieve success in different
sports
Use synonyms
easily.
However
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, some people believe that hard work and persistence have an essential role in the successful careers of sportsmen. I will discuss both sides of these statements in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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with, individuals who have natural talents or abilities are luckier than others and achieve a great victory in any
sports
Use synonyms
competition.
For instance
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, Pele was one of the most successful football players throughout the world achieving three World Cups in a row with his personal aptitude for playing a ball.
In addition
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, the enthusiasm of
sports
Use synonyms
players for it at an early age is another key factor which leads them to the top level of the rock. Unfortunately, there are quite a few innate people who cannot make the most of themselves
as well as
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a lack of self-confidence and chances.
Therefore
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, governments should focus on
this
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issue and subsidise them under any conditions.
Nevertheless
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, it is commonly known that there are many different types of competitors who have achieved their goals in
sports
Use synonyms
by training hard and regularly. I mean that regular practice helps a person to become much more professional in his or her own field. At the same time, with the help of a coach's instructions and motivation
as well as
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strong public support including parents' encouragement, they can enhance their self-assuredness and succeed in obtaining accomplishments. To take an example, Cristiano Ronaldo has worked on himself persistently and devoted himself to soccer since his childhood.
As a result
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, he has set record-breaking results and acquired a number of medals and various cups. In conclusion, I strongly believe that it is vitally important for athletes to keep in shape and follow strict discipline
besides
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inborn talents.
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of your essay, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is fully developed. Link your ideas more effectively by using a wider range of cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Although you presented an introduction and conclusion, make sure your introduction more explicitly outlines the forthcoming discussion, and your conclusion effectively summarises your main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points consistently with examples or evidence. While you provided some examples, more could be included, and they should be explicitly linked to the argument you are making.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task by ensuring you discuss both views comprehensively and clearly state your own opinion. Make sure that your opinion is evident throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.
task achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas by expanding on your points, explaining the reasoning behind your arguments, and exploring the implications or contrasting views within each paragraph.
task achievement
Include a sufficient range of relevant specific examples to support your arguments. While examples are included, varying these and providing further details would strengthen your position.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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