IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

People aim to achieve balance between work and other activities of their lives, but few are able to do this. Suggest problems in balancing and some solution for over-coming such problems.

#people #aim #balance #work #activities #lives
Work-life balance is the latest buzzword in the social circle where people strive very hard to achieve it but very few are actually able to do it.
As a result
 of
this
,
p
Add an article
the
show examples
ersonal relationship of the concerned person goes for a toss,
however
, it can easily address by following a strict time-table.
This
 essay will not only discuss both the views in greater details but
also
 support the arguments with relevant examples.
To begin
 with, strenuous family life is the biggest drawback of multi-tasking. There has been
u
Add an article
an
show examples
nprecedented increase in the ambition of a human which is compelling them to take up things which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 beyond their managing ability. As a consequence, people spend more time in
o
Add an article
the
an
show examples
ffice or on other chores and less with family which on a long run impacts their interpersonal camaraderie.
For instance
, as per the survey published in business today, within a decade, India has seen a dramatic rise from 5% to 30% in the divorce rate of the working individuals. A suitable solution will be to create a daily schedule which will be followed diligently. To elaborate, a person can list down his daily activities pertaining to work and family, and follow it with perfect execution.
This
 will help him to manage his time in a better way and ensure that appropriate time
is spend
Change the verb form
is spent
show examples
 with his loved ones.
For example
, as per a recent study published in HBR,
a
Add an article
the
show examples
bove process has resulted
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
improvement in interpersonal relationships by almost 15%. To conclude, it is imperative for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
people to follow their dreams and grab it with both hands but not at the cost family. As a remedy, they can create and follow a to-do list which will help them to
multi-task
Correct your spelling
multitask
show examples
 more effectively and efficiently.
Submitted by Ashish on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: