A local school is requesting ideas for renovations. Write to them and include Problems they have now Suggestions to change How they could make these changes

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Dear Sir or Madam , I, a concerned parent, am writing to offer a few suggestions for the upcoming refurbishment of the

school

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premises. I believe implementing these recommendations will help the students and staff alike. As you must be aware, the

school

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is currently facing severe water shortages.

Although

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water conservation is practised in residential areas, it is not enforced in the

school

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. To tackle

this

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, we could install

Correct your spelling

rainwater water

rainwaterwater

Correct article usage

a rainwaterwater

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harvesting plant on the roofs which will not only save water but

also

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ensure adequate supply throughout the academic year. Another problem is overcrowding in the classes. The rate at which student enrolment is increasing, soon it will be impossible to accommodate all of the pupils. Adding another floor to the middle

school

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building should counteract

this

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deluge of new admissions. I am aware that the

school

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is operating

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a shoe-string budget but we can go ahead with these changes without over-extending. Rainwater harvesting

plant

Fix the agreement mistake

plants

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can be procured at a 20 per cent discount. As for the extension of the building, many parents-including me- have decided to volunteer. If we all pitch in together,

this

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can be achieved in no time. Hoping for a positive response. Yours Sincerely David Lee.

dhyanimaitreeTue Sep 22 2020

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

202 words

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A local school is requesting ideas for renovations. Write to them and include Problems they have now Suggestions to change How they could make these changes

In some countries,young people are encouraged to work or travel between finishing high school and high school school.Discuss the advantages and the disadvantages for young people who decides to do so

International travel is becoming cheaper, and more and more countries open their door and with more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages?

Prevention is more important than cure. researching and treating disease is very costly, so it is better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that menand women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree.