A local school is requesting ideas for renovations. Write to them and include Problems they have now Suggestions to change How they could make these changes

#school #renovations #suggestions #change #changes

Dear Sir or Madam , I, a concerned parent, am writing to offer a few suggestions for the upcoming refurbishment of the

school

premises. I believe implementing these recommendations will help the students and staff alike. As you must be aware, the

school

is currently facing severe water shortages.

Although

water conservation is practised in residential areas, it is not enforced in the

school

. To tackle

this

, we could install

Correct your spelling

rainwater water

rainwaterwater

Correct article usage

a rainwaterwater

show examples

harvesting plant on the roofs which will not only save water but

also

ensure adequate supply throughout the academic year. Another problem is overcrowding in the classes. The rate at which student enrolment is increasing, soon it will be impossible to accommodate all of the pupils. Adding another floor to the middle

school

building should counteract

this

deluge of new admissions. I am aware that the

school

is operating

Change preposition

show examples

a shoe-string budget but we can go ahead with these changes without over-extending. Rainwater harvesting

plant

Fix the agreement mistake

plants

show examples

can be procured at a 20 per cent discount. As for the extension of the building, many parents-including me- have decided to volunteer. If we all pitch in together,

this

can be achieved in no time. Hoping for a positive response. Yours Sincerely David Lee.

Submitted by dhyanimaitree on Tue Sep 22 2020

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

202 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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A local school is requesting ideas for renovations. Write to them and include Problems they have now Suggestions to change How they could make these changes

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Today, many people do not know their neighbors. Why is this? What can be done about this?

Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from Primary School to universities too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. do you agree or disagree?