IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Crime is a big problem in the world; many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

#crime #world
There has been an increase in the rate of criminals around the world every year.
Therefore
, crime is one of the most urgent issues that have been facing recently. The general view has been that there are no preventive measures to stop people who engage in illegal acts. I totally disagree with
this
 statement and believe some solutions can control the problem of lawlessness. One of the possible approaches is that the government can implement some effective policies.
In other words
, authorities should impose stricter punishments on offenders to raise the public's awareness of the significance of legal compliance.
Hence
, those who attend to commit a violation must be wary before action,
otherwise
, criminals will receive appropriate punishment for their illegal behaviour. By enforcing the strict rules and regulation, the number of violent acts will be preventable.
In addition
, reducing the rate of unemployment will contribute to deterring criminal activities. Most people who come from underprivileged families tend to resort to illegalities to make ends meet are the result of joblessness.
Therefore
, local authorities should create more opportunities for the number of jobless individuals to seek a job.
As a result
, not only the living standard of the poor will improve, but
also
 the crime level will considerably decrease. In conclusion,
although
 crime is a controversial problem in every country in the world, the situation can be tackled by some methods. Implementing strict policies and offering more jobs to citizens are possible measures to prevent the public from criminal activities.
Submitted by thtrang612 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: