IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling (traveling - consistency) inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #consistency #vehicles #passengers
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Cutting-edge technologies have led to the creation of driverless vehicles and during the
last
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 decades, these innovative tools have become widely popular
due to
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 their positive impacts on societies. From my perspective, I consider that the benefits outweigh the stumbling blocks, and in
this
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 essay, I will explain my reasons in detail.
To begin
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 with, it is well-known that
people
Use synonyms
 with motor skills impairments depend on others to commute,
thus
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 these technologies create inclusive policies where
people
Use synonyms
 with these types of conditions can transport themselves freely.
This
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 means that if those strategies are implemented, the co-dependence, at least to perform
this
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 specific task, will plummet.
For example
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, in The United States, since the usage of those vehicles has been popularized, almost 50% of
people
Use synonyms
 with any disability have been able to 'drive' to their workplaces.
Consequently
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, their quality of life has improved by almost 20%
due to
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 their feelings of freedom and inclusion.
Additionally
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, it has been proved that most traffic accidents are because of human errors
such
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 as lack of concentration, sleeping, strong emotions or feelings that could cloud rational thinking, etc.
Besides
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,
although
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 many laws have been imposed, there are many
people
Use synonyms
 who still drive under the influence of toxic substances
as well as
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 many others
disrespect
Correct pronoun usage
who disrespect
show examples
 the maximum speed limit.
As a consequence
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 of
this
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, the most common cause of death worldwide is owing to traffic accidents, even more than all chronic diseases.
Then
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, machines have been regulated in order to follow the rules and drivers could do many other activities
while
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 they reach their destination.
To sum up
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, technological tools have been created to facilitate daily activities in humankind,
hence
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, cars in which a driver is not required should be leveraged in order to avoid traffic crashes
due to
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 human failures.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear and comprehensive argument regarding the advantages of driverless vehicles. To further improve, you might consider addressing possible counterarguments more explicitly to show a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, for even higher cohesion, you can create smoother transitions between the points discussed. Using linking phrases like 'Moreover' and 'In addition' more consistently can help.
task achievement
You have provided specific examples and data, which greatly strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong, effectively framing your argument.
coherence cohesion
Each main point is well-supported, and the logical structure is clear, making your argument easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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