IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Smokers can cause themselves serious health problems. The choice to smoke is made freely and with knowledge of the dangers. Smokers should, therefore, expect to pay more for medical treatment than non-smokers. To what extent do you agree with the statement?

#smokers #health #choice #smoke #dangers #treatment #non-smokers
In today’s world, every human being has
o
Add a pronoun
their
its
show examples
wn rights through which
p
Add an article
a
show examples
erson has a choice to do smoke or not. Persons
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 that smoking can cause serious diseases. I quite disagree that smokers have to pay more for medical treatment rather than other persons who are not smoking. I will discuss it in the following paragraphs of
this
 essay. On the one side, in some situations, doctors provide medical treatments to a
person
 whether he/she is a smoker or not.
For instance
, in car accidents, common Flu, bone fracture and so on chaos, smoker and non-smokers ought to pay equally for medical treatment. Because their problems are not cured by smoking.
Moreover
, smokers are
also
 members of society and they can do anything according to their choices. So they should not be paid more for
health
 treatment than
n
Add an article
a
show examples
on-smoker for unpreventable diseases.
On the other hand
, According to my point of view, smokers have to pay more than other humans who are not smoking, only for those ailments which could be preventable and avoidable as well. To illustrate, lung cancer is
such
 as a dangerous disease which is occurred only by having a cigar. One
person
 can escape from
this
 disease by avoiding cigarettes.
Furthermore
, on cigarette packets, there is clearly written that smoking is harmful to
health
 and can cause serious ailments, Smoker read it but not avoid a hale cigarette. So, in
such
 cases, smokers should have to pay more them others. To conclude, Smoking is not good for
health
 because it breeds to various
health
 chaos but one
person
 can smoke with his/ her own choice. I believe smokers have to pay more than non- smokers only for those ailments which are caused by smoking
such
 as lung cancer, brain cancer, and weak immune system, but not for common
health
 chaos.
Submitted by ahmedaalam1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: