IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In you letter say why he/she would not enjoy going to college explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

#friend #advice #college #job #idea
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Dear Amy, I'm glad to know you just finished high school and will start a new journey in your life. I truly understand your concern about the future plan and would suggest you find an appropriate job right now. I know you are keen on data analysis and business intelligence.
However
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, all the related courses in college are fully basic skills, which I suppose you have learned by yourself already.
As a result
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, three years of academic life would not benefit you greatly.
However
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, a quick dive into the real work world would build up your acumen and accumulate your solid industrial experience.
Thus
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, you will have a deep understanding of how to integrate your data expertise with real-world experience. Meanwhile, you will expand your social network in a specific industry and gain tremendous knowledge from experienced and insightful colleagues.
Therefore
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, you should seek opportunities in some large companies with vacant positions like assistant of data mining or business analysis. Hope the above explains and wish you have fun and excitement in your new job. Lots of love, Antoine
Submitted by huaixiangdong on

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Tone Consistency
Ensure that the letter maintains a consistent formal or informal tone throughout, as mixing styles can affect the suitability of the writing tone for the reader.
Paragraph Focus
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea, supported by relevant details or explanations. Avoid including multiple ideas that may dilute the focus.
Logical Structure
Structure the letter in a clear, logical way. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas and ensure that the sequence of information presented is easy to follow.
Greeting and Closing Consistency
The greeting and closing of the letter should be appropriate for the context. In this case, the greeting is casual, whereas the closing is more formal; choose one style and stick to it.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Real-world experience
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • On-the-job training
  • Student loan debt
  • Personal growth
  • Professional networking
  • Career development
  • Skilled workers
  • Job market
  • Career goals
  • Immediate income
  • Professional relationships
  • Market demand
  • Defining interests
  • Educational investments
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