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Band 6

Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#students #school
Children could good grades in school whenever they are encouraged rather than abused. I personally believe that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good appreciation is better than
punishement
Correct your spelling
punishment
 to encourage students to do well in school.
This
 essay will discuss both sides by taking examples from newspapers and journals.
To begin
 with, a good appreciation for students work would eventually help them to do hard work
next
 time to show better results.
This
 is because, it motivates the
child
 to perform well to get good feedback from the
teacher
 again, and fellow students
also
 get inspired by those words from their tutor.
For example
, a recent survey from The New York Times revealed that 80 % of students are extremely happy whenever their
teacher
 appreciated their work.
As a result
, they scored
h
Add an article
the
show examples
ighest marks in final exams.
Secondly
, torturing the student to get good scores in
e
Add an article
the
show examples
xam could give good results, but
this
 process will lead to affect their personal life. The matter of fact for
this
 is, punishing the
child
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of their peers would make them feel discouraged, and they get paranoid at
thier
Correct your spelling
their
teacher
. Most importantly,
this
 will make them lose interest
on
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 studies.
For instance
, a
12 year
Add a hyphen
12-year
show examples
child
 in Japan got physically abused by
thier
Correct your spelling
their
teacher
 for not performing well.
Therefore
, the
child
 got a decent result in exams, but
metally
Correct your spelling
mentally
show examples
 disturbed and got scared to attend school again.
Finally
, I strongly believe that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good support from the
teacher
 would potentially help them the student to give their best, rather than abusing them physically
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of their friends.
Submitted by njohngilbert on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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