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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Modern cultures around the world have become similar when compared to the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

#cultures #world #development
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It is incontrovertible that recent years have seen the transformation of traditions to
the
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apply
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modern trends-- which has created a debate as to whether it is
favourable
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a favourable
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 development or unfavourable. Notwithstanding,
this
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 disquisition will delve into the causes behind
this
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 worrying trend, and
subsequently
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 will explore my perspective,
accordingly
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. Admittedly, the exponents that postulate that there is a similarity between the previous and recent cultures-- have their justifications.
On
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One
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 of the vindications might be that the advent of the internet has revolutionized the world in general by uploading
the
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apply
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pictures of
the
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apply
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celebration
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celebrations
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 on social platforms
such
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 as Facebook,
Instagram
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and Instagram
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 across the world.
Additionally
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, travelling these days has made easier export-import of traditions throughout the globe;
hence
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, people can easily adapt the
modish
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modern
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 cultures by influencing effects.
As a result
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 of
this
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, people forget the origin of cultures and the actual meaning of observance.
According to
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 one survey by the Guardian Journal in 2019, 30% of the population celebrated the festivals and performed their rituals to just show off and to influence other youngsters.
Conversely
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, the modernization of
the
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world-wide
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worldwide
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 customs has changed the definition of
rituals
Change the noun form
ritual
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celebrations
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and celebrations
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,
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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absolutely
right
Add a comma
, right
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? Certainly, it follows that teenagers are participating in
festive
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festivities
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 only for uploading their activities rather than understanding the moral value of commemoration.
Consequently
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, the religious value of heritage is being lost day by day and cultures only stand there for the voguish meaning of conspicuous trends among the youth.
Furthermore
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, the local traditions have
extincted
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extinct
 by the blind run after the modern concepts--which is not
positive
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a positive
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 development at all, because people need to save their own customs to preserve cultural diversity.
To conclude
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, having explored the reasons behind
this
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 kind of contemporary burgeoning, I reiterate that surely, it has connected the world with a single string;
nevertheless
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, losing
own
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its own
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 tradition is the only pitfall aspect of having trendy
some
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apply
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growth.
Thus
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, personally, I consent to the hilt that
this
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 kind of development is the negative one in
long-turn
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the long-turn
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due to
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extinction
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the extinction
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 of local customs.
Submitted by black on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure is well-developed and the introduction and conclusion are present. However, the main points are not thoroughly supported.
task achievement
The response addresses the task to a certain extent and presents clear ideas but lacks relevant specific examples to support the points.
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