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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some countries invest in specialized sports facilities for top athletes but not for the average people. Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #sports #facilities #athletes #people #development
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Sporting has become one of the most important ideals in the
contemporany
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contemporary
 world. Governments have spent a lot of money in order to construct
trainning
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training
 arenas for professionals athletes not including
non professional
Add a hyphen
non-professional
show examples
sportists
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sports
.
This
Linking Words
 attitude imposed
buy
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by
show examples
 some countries area justify in a
positie
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positive
 way. There being no
such
Linking Words
 space for everyone, professional athletes can't be in the same atmosphere as
non professionals
Add a hyphen
non-professionals
show examples
 because
this
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 can
take aways
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takeaways
show examples
 their focus.
Therefore
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 the athletes could face some
prejudicy
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prejudice
prejudices
 once they would not be giving their best efforts during
trainning
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training
 sessions and once
this
Linking Words
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
 they will not
perfform
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perform
 well along
Add the preposition
with
show examples
their competitions.
Moreover
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, professional
sportists
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sports
 used to be more prepared than amateurs in terms of conditioning so
thei
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they
that
 can run faster, swim better and
finaly
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finally
final
 strike stronger. The latter can be a
harmull
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harmful
 when we talk about
figthing
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fighting
 sports as
such
Linking Words
 as Karate or even Boxe as well which are highly dangerous sports when people are not
competting
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competing
 among other athletes that are not in the same level as they are.
For example
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, a professional athlete can
easely
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easily
 harm a
non professional
Add a hyphen
non-professional
show examples
 during a
boxe
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boxing
 match considering that the
last
Linking Words
 one is an amateur. The
investiment
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investment
 in professional sports facilities could not be a pretext to
contries
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countries
 give up on
insvesting
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investing
 for spaces where
commonly
Replace the word
common
show examples
 people can
also
Linking Words
Use synonyms
practice
Correct your spelling
practise
show examples
 some sports. So that,
instead
Linking Words
 of only
construc
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construct
profesisonal
Correct your spelling
professional
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, politicians should
also
Linking Words
 be cautions giving some attention for amateurs constructing more parks
for instance
Linking Words
, which are a good place for amateurs and families to
practice
Use synonyms
 sports, so both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 would have a place to
practice
Use synonyms
 activities. In conclusion, it is possible to say that it is a good idea for
profesisonals
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professionals
professional
 athletes get
separed
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separated
 from amateurs in order to guarantee their high performance during competitions as well as the safety of
non professionals
Add a hyphen
non-professionals
show examples
 that might be
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 the same sport.
Finally
Linking Words
,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 should be able to construct arenas for professionals
athlets
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athletes
 and parks or
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 of recreation for amateurs so that everyone could
practice
Use synonyms
 any sports
whithout
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without
 taking care
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
their safety.
Submitted by Marcel on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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