IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's world, lies the harsh life of people who are forced to commit horrific crimes that are beyond everybody's wildest imagination.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay will discuss why is
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the case and state possible solutions with an apt example. Nowadays, even with the growing income of people and elevating economy, people resort to crimes as they think they can get away with it. Apart from robberies,
i
Add an article
an

The noun phrase increasing number seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
ncreasing number of rape cases and murders
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 prevail in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 modern world.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, uneducated people are often found robbing banks and homes filled with cash, jewellery and assets as they are wary of the fact that it might lead to life imprisonment. From my experience, In India, according to a survey
Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase according to a survey. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
there are more than 5000 cases of rapes every year.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in some cultures, it is quite normal to have a gun at home which some guardians misuse and it leads to these crimes. Crime is no longer for monetary value but for the emotional stability of these folks who later realize their mistakes when it's too late.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are a number of things that can be done about
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. To start with, the government should impose strict laws in the country for robbers, murderers and rapists and take examples from countries like UAE where a person, if found committing a crime is hanged to death.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 causes a sense of sacredness among fellow citizens.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the youth of the nation should be educated about the repercussions of these activities from the early stages of life.
Thirdly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the response time of the police has to be improved in undeveloped countries which can prevent these mishaps.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, stringent rules and regulations pertaining to female as well as societal safety have to be implemented for the same. In conclusion, a crime can have devastating effects on both the person who experiences it and the one who commits. Countries have to come together to tackle these horrific issues and implement common laws and practices in order to overcome and stop these to happen.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rate
  • violent crimes
  • socioeconomic factors
  • law enforcement
  • technology
  • education
  • employment
  • drug abuse
  • alcohol abuse
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • effectiveness
  • investing
  • job creation
  • social support
  • community engagement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: