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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people prefer to travel by car while others prefer to take the bicycle. Which of these do you prefer? What are the advantages and disadvantages of traveling by a car and a bicycle?

#people #travel #car #bicycle #do
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Owing to sedentary lifestyles,
one
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 part of society prefers to use the bicycle for
travel
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,
whereas
Linking Words
, another part of society is choosing to
travel
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 by
car
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. Both the options have their own pros and cons, thereby, in my busy life schedule, I choose to
travel
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 by
car
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, whilst, for
overall
Linking Words
 well-being, I always looking for bicycle rides in my leisure time. With regard to
car
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travel
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, motor vehicles have brought numerous benefits to individual persons. The foremost reason is, its speed, it saves time in
this
Linking Words
 hustle and bustle lifestyle, as it speeds up
one
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's journey and
one
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 can reach their destination at the earliest.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it provides safety from road accidents
as well as
Linking Words
 from harsh weather conditions because it's covered from all sides having a top roof to protect travellers from scorching heat in the summers, snow and rain in the winter and rainy seasons. At the moment, a major portion of people in the Atlantic regions have their own cars which provide them with safe journeys on their trips to schools, workplaces, shopping destinations etcetera. On the other side, in these sedentary lifestyles, the issue of obesity is growing at an alarming stage in the world's population, thereby, people are looking for exercise, and other physical activities that can assist them in developing vital habits in their living lifestyles, so that they can improve their
overall
Linking Words
 health,
therefore
Linking Words
, many people are choosing cycling to go to work
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or schools. Apart from that, cycling is
also
Linking Words
 beneficial for individuals who are nature lovers, who love to watch nature closely by spending long numbers of hours experiencing the beauty of nature, by bicycling along the long banks of rivers, trail camping,
bush
Correct word choice
and bush
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 cycling. In conclusion, every kind of vehicle has its own benefits, but for long, comfortable, and quick trips; a
car
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 is the best approach to choose,
whereas
Linking Words
, the benefits of cycling, especially, in
this
Linking Words
 sedentary lifestyle cannot be ignored,
hence
Linking Words
, trips by cycling are
one
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 of the easiest and crucial pathways to tackle the health-related issues which are increasing at a growing rate.
Submitted by kanwalkaur05 on

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language
Ensure consistent use of grammatical structures and avoid comma splices for better readability.
task achievement
Develop each point more fully to provide a deeper analysis and enhance the strength of the arguments.
structure
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The main points are supported with relevant examples, enhancing the practicality and relatability of the argument.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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