It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages ?

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It is believed that taking risks is an essential thing for every human being, both in their professional and personal lives. Personally, it seems to me that running the chance is a must for an individual which could contribute to a more positive impact on their existence. On the one hand, taking opportunity means how to learn to be an independent figure. Every single day in our activity, we have to face so many adversities and challenges which could strain our mentality.

For example

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, a manager in a start-up company who is forced to take faster responsibility for any issue relating to its position, will not have longer or even enough time to ask any opinion of its surroundings. Supposing that,

Instead

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of waiting and wasting time for many different opinions, it has to take a better and wiser solution as it thinks as the best path to fix its problems. Meanwhile, by taking a chance value as a wiser and more independent person will be earned.

On the other hand

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, whether as a professional or in our personal life, taking risks will boost our self to improve our confidence. One of the simplest examples is when a fresh graduate student faces two options, either it has to directly apply for a job or continue its study.

therefore

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this

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situation would force us to choose one of the best things that we consider would have less bad impact on our lives and careers.

To conclude

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, handling uncertainty for everyone in all aspects of life means how to be a brave and independent person, standing on our own and not depending on others.

Moreover

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, it would improve ourselves to be more confident, to believe in ourselves in every situation.

Submitted by k a l l a on Fri Jun 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

Connected ideas need better clarity and flow. Transition phrases or linking words could help.

task achievement

Examples should be more specific and closely tied to the points being made.

task achievement

The essay needs clearer development of ideas. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting points.

task achievement

The introduction presents a clear stance on the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains a logical conclusion that reflects on the points discussed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages ?

Your opinion

Many people think that zoos are cruel. Others think they are helpful in protecting rare animals. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people think that universities should not provide so much theoretical knowledge but give more practical training throughout their courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people consider price as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (e.g. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?