some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money.How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

It is often said that money plays an integral role in the

happiness

of a human being, especially in today’s consumer society.

However

, there are

also

equally important matters that contribute

towards

Verify preposition usage

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a person’s contentment. Perhaps, the main reason for those who support money as the prime factor might be citing to the materialistic benefits achieved by a person’s wealth.

This

means that

happiness

is dependent on providing

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uxurious

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

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to our dear ones.

For instance

, we have to buy some expensive gifts to make the loved one feel great on their birthdays.

Furthermore

, it seems that people might

be feel

Change the verb form

feel

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better when they try to publicize their wealthy lifestyle.

This

means that consuming popular brands of products, they experience a sense of pride in the society. Turning to the other factors, it appears to be charity provides

Remove the article

apply

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personal satisfaction to some people.

This

may be helping the people who are needy and giving

Remove the article

apply

show examples

new hope to their life.

For example

,most famous people like Mother Teresa finds

happiness

in serving people.

Secondly

,it seems that achieving

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

individual goals can be a key factor in a person’s

happiness

This

could be

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after putting a lot of efforts to gain success in their career makes them

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

feel proud in the work. In conclusion, it is logical to conclude that, money the prime cause for an individual’s

happiness

However

, it seems that a person can

also

feel content in helping others and fulfilling his long term goal.

Submitted by rehmanmanzil007 on Sat Oct 03 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money.How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The charts detail the percentages and number for visitors to and from from the UK from 1979 to 1999.

The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. What extent Do you Agree or Disagree ??

The contribution of various economic sectors to Xcountry Gross Domestic Product in 2016, 2017, and 2018

Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children’s health and social skills. Others say that it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.