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Band 7

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activitiesDoes this situation have more advantage or more disadvantages?

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Nowadays, lots of people are busy with their job by doing long hours and leaving less time for leisure activities. According to
this
 statement, it has an advantage but in my view, it has a major disadvantage.
This
 essay is going to discuss the advantages and a disadvantage by introducing important facts. The
first
 point is there is the most important benefit is money can earn by working a long shift or doing two jobs.
However
, some people have a dream to spend their life comfortable by having luxury objects.
As a result
 of that, they have to work hard to achieve their dreams or life expectancy.
For instance
, citizens are willing to have a luxury house and a brand new car to make their soul easier by spending more time in their work to increase their savings. Another point is working long hours have health issues for workers by doing a long period job without having a proper break.
Therefore
, it is affected by their mental and physical health. An illustrate that lots of suicide happen in the world because of depression who work in a long shift without having a proper leisure activity with their family. On the account of the fact that enjoying with family and friends make mind and body relax by doing lots of games and entertainment which help have refreshment. In conclusion, people have to earn money to maintain their lifestyle by working limited shifts and make time for their enjoyment.
Therefore
, there has more deprivation to working hard without having proper rest.
Submitted by lakmisithara94 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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