IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, financial crime involving identity theft is increasing. What are the causes of this trend, and what effect does identity theft have on the victims involved? Give reasons for your answer, and provide ideas and examples from your own experience

As technology develops, nothing remains untouched
and
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, and
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 the
lifesyle
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lifestyle
 of
people
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 is no exception. Nowadays,
due to
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 the presence of
online
Correct article usage
the online
show examples
world
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, security threats are common problems.
Although
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this
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 problem has a lot of complications, it does not necessarily mean that nothing can be done.
This
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 essay will
explline
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explain
 the
cuasses
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causes
 of
this
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 trend and suggest some valuable suggestions.
Firstly
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, one of the main
cause
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causes
show examples
 of
this
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 problem is excessive use of
online
Correct article usage
the online
show examples
world
Use synonyms
 by all generations, ranging from the old to the young. Authorities have always been warning us that if individuals do not place a
highe
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high
 value
in
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on
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 their personal information
on
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in
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 the online
world
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, they will be faced with many problems not
noly interms
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only in terms
 of financial matters but
also
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 security
threat
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threats
show examples
.
This
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 is because many
people
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 in these social platforms are not able to preserve their personal information since they do not have sufficient digital knowledge.
Moreover
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, in
this
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 contemporary era, residents have to use online applications to meet their daily demands, since the
World
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 Wide Web
is
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has
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 become an inseparable part of humans' lives. Wherever they
go
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go,
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 they have to use online gadgets,
such
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 as banks,
resturants
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restaurants
, and even hospitals. One of the major
effcts
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effects
 of
this
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 issue is mental pressure. Those who are subject to
stealing
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having
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 their personal and
sencetive
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sensitive
 information
may
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stolen may
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 carry a great deal of stress and anxiety, which can be
prelious
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perilous
 for their mental health.
As a result
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, they may develop some mental
disordered
Replace the word
disorders
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in
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over
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 a long period. Another
effects
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effect
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 of
this
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 trend is losing money.
For example
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, when
people
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 buy some things online and
enven
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even
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fake pages, it can allow hackers to steal
people
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's money
on
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from
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
 bank accounts, which puts a lot of
monetray
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monetary
 pressure on them. In conclusion,
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Although
Fix capitalization
although
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due to
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 the presence of social platforms and
aaplications
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applications
, privacy breaches are really possible for hackers, it is not as if it cannot be addressed. In my view,
this
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 is the massive burden of high-ranking officials to
pose
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impose
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 stricter laws and measures on the digital
world
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 and
makes
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make
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 it much
more safe
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safer
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 for those who spend
thier
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their
 time in
such
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 places.

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structure
Plan your essay first. Write one idea per paragraph. Use a clear start (introduction), middle (body), and end (conclusion).
task-response
Keep to the topic. Give two causes and two effects, with a short example for each. State your own view in a simple sentence.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Use simple, common words. Read your writing aloud to catch errors.
content
The essay shows you try to cover causes and effects.
content
You add a personal example and show some links to daily life.
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