IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In the past shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is positive trend?

#people #hobby #trend
Today people are living in a world of advertising where lots of products and services attract them. Their definition of essential and necessity is changing day by day. Shopping is kind of necessary as well as trending
experience
 for them. In the past time shopping was a routine daily task but now it is completely changed. That shopping
experience
 was completely missed few things
for instance
 product’s actual feel, variety, credit facilities, discounts and offers, comparison etc.
Customer
Add an article
The customer
show examples
 was not
r
Add an article
a
show examples
eal king as today because of limited available shops and less spending habits. People
were spends
Change the verb form
were spending
show examples
 more on necessities. They could not think much about expensive products in the terms of buying products like a car, refrigerator, air conditioner considered as
l
Add an article
a
show examples
uxury.
On the other hand
Add a comma
,
show examples
huge shopping malls are available today with
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 variety of products. Which gives them
a
Change the article
an
show examples
experience
 like a different world, music which is playing around makes them more
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
, children’s have their play zones which makes them happier.
Picture
Add an article
The picture
A picture
show examples
 is completely changed past luxurious products is now today’s essential. Companies providing great discounts, credit facility, offers etc. People do buy luxurious products with the help of credit cash provided by banks and different financial institutes. I
am quite agree
Change the verb form
quite agree
show examples
 with
this
 trend because it is a
type
Replace the word
typical
show examples
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
stress relief
experience
 but It is often seen that people who having
t
Add an article
a
show examples
rend of shopping on weekends is not good in
b
Add an article
the
a
show examples
igger picture. They can spend
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
s
Add an article
the
show examples
ame time with their children, sports activities, health or family
get togethers
Add a hyphen
get-togethers
show examples
.
Submitted by hKc47$p# on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • retail therapy
  • materialism
  • disposable income
  • economic growth
  • financial instability
  • environmental impact
  • social interaction
  • community building
  • emotional satisfaction
  • advertising influence
  • shopping habits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: