IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Nowadays, more and more people engage in dangerous activities, such as sky diving and motorcycling. Are you in favour of them? Use examples to support your opinion.

#people #activities #sky #favour #support
It is undeniable that human beings are always eager to explore something new.
Therefore
, these days most of the people take part in adventurous activities, but I personally do not consider these kinds of things safe. I will discuss my viewpoint in detail with some supporting evidence.
To begin
 with, doing risky actions is not suitable for every single individual because some having a phobia from height, water and so on, but still people imitate others and initiate these type of things which may put their life into a big risk as they are not mentally prepared for the same.
Moreover
, it is seen that people lost their lives as well while doing dangerous activities just for the sake of entertainment. For instances, there have been some recorded instances of a group of friends who took part in bunjy jumping
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but was not able to concentrate and fell down with a serious injury.
Thus
, these risky exercises should be considered on by expertise people.
In addition
, taking a part in adventurous movements could be the reason of severe heart attack in some cases because if one is doing a sky diving,
then
 it is obvious that he/she has to jump from the height of either 10,000 km or 15,000 from the helicopter so in that case, the participant may lose the stamina and diagnose with the heart attack.
For example
, according to the news of the Hindustan Times in 2017, in Queensland, Newzealand 24 years old girl died due to heart attack when she was doing a sky diving. Overall, putting life into risk is not all about fun. To conclude, it is true that some folks are quite adventurous by nature that's why they engage in dangerous actions. As far as I concerned, I do not recommend these things, but there are
also
 individual preferences which could not be overlooked.
Submitted by sumandeepkaur450 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: