Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, there are many courses offered to college
students
. Also
, the students
can choose subjects
that they want to study. Some people believe that focusing on major subjects
is more crucial than studying both
mandatory and elective subjects
because main subjects
will give more opportunities in the student’s career in the future. Meanwhile, some people consider that the additional subjects
can be beneficial for students
as well. This
essay will elaborate on both
views and provide my opinion.
To begin
with, the competitiveness in job applications continuously increases due to
the economic downturn and the replacement of technology. In addition
, employers tend to focus on the technical skills
that the applicants have. As a result
, the student should pay attention and strive to get the best performance in their major subjects
. This
is the best evidence that ensures the capability of them. As such
, it’s worth spending time on the main subjects
only.
On the other hand
, some selective subjects
are beneficial for students
. For example
, working in the business world requires well-rounded skills
. Although
,
your work’s quality is high, people will not recognise it until you present it to them. Remove the comma
apply
This
is the reason why communication skills
are necessary and they need to be improved. In fact, there are many minor subjects
which were taught in the university. It would be better if students
select them based on their interests and abilities. I agree with this
idea.
To sum up
, studying only the main subjects
can increase the possibilities of job applications. However
, spending time on minor subjects
also
improves non-technical skills
in students
. In my opinion, students
should apply for both
subjects
since both
are essential.Submitted by Punpun on
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general
You've provided a well-balanced discussion on the subject matter, but to improve further, consider adding more specific examples to support your points. This would enhance the clarity and impact of your argument.
coherence cohesion
It's good practice to ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is structured around it. Your essay mostly achieves this, but refining and clearly stating your main points at the beginning of each paragraph will improve readability.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes both views and your own opinion. To elevate your essay, you might consider reflecting on the implications or suggesting solutions or predictions based on your discussion.
introduction
The essay provides a clear introduction that outlines the topic and sets the stage for the discussion that follows. This helps in guiding the reader through your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs is commendable. This aids in the smooth flow of your essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
conclusion
The conclusion succinctly wraps up the discussion, restating both sides of the argument and clearly stating your own viewpoint. This is a strong strategy for concluding an essay and leaves the reader with a clear understanding of your position.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example