Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there are many courses offered to college
students
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, the
students
Use synonyms
can choose
subjects
Use synonyms
that they want to study. Some people believe that focusing on major
subjects
Use synonyms
is more crucial than studying
both
Use synonyms
mandatory and elective
subjects
Use synonyms
because main
subjects
Use synonyms
will give more opportunities in the student’s career in the future. Meanwhile, some people consider that the additional
subjects
Use synonyms
can be beneficial for
students
Use synonyms
as well.
This
Linking Words
essay will elaborate on
both
Use synonyms
views and provide my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
with, the competitiveness in job applications continuously increases
due to
Linking Words
the economic downturn and the replacement of technology.
In addition
Linking Words
, employers tend to focus on the technical
skills
Use synonyms
that the applicants have.
As a result
Linking Words
, the student should pay attention and strive to get the best performance in their major
subjects
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is the best evidence that ensures the capability of them. As
such
Linking Words
, it’s worth spending time on the main
subjects
Use synonyms
only.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some selective
subjects
Use synonyms
are beneficial for
students
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, working in the business world requires well-rounded
skills
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
your work’s quality is high, people will not recognise it until you present it to them.
This
Linking Words
is the reason why communication
skills
Use synonyms
are necessary and they need to be improved. In fact, there are many minor
subjects
Use synonyms
which were taught in the university. It would be better if
students
Use synonyms
select them based on their interests and abilities. I agree with
this
Linking Words
idea.
To sum up
Linking Words
, studying only the main
subjects
Use synonyms
can increase the possibilities of job applications.
However
Linking Words
, spending time on minor
subjects
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
improves non-technical
skills
Use synonyms
in
students
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
students
Use synonyms
should apply for
both
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
since
both
Use synonyms
are essential.
Submitted by Punpun on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

general
You've provided a well-balanced discussion on the subject matter, but to improve further, consider adding more specific examples to support your points. This would enhance the clarity and impact of your argument.
coherence cohesion
It's good practice to ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is structured around it. Your essay mostly achieves this, but refining and clearly stating your main points at the beginning of each paragraph will improve readability.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes both views and your own opinion. To elevate your essay, you might consider reflecting on the implications or suggesting solutions or predictions based on your discussion.
introduction
The essay provides a clear introduction that outlines the topic and sets the stage for the discussion that follows. This helps in guiding the reader through your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs is commendable. This aids in the smooth flow of your essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
conclusion
The conclusion succinctly wraps up the discussion, restating both sides of the argument and clearly stating your own viewpoint. This is a strong strategy for concluding an essay and leaves the reader with a clear understanding of your position.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: