IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the Internet. They believe this is the best way of using public money to reduce the problem of unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #person #phone #access #internet #money #unemployment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Unemployment is the major sin, in which the person remains left behind from having a job or any earning source.In the current time of modern and technically advanced, one of the most pressing concerns with unemployment and
this
Linking Words
 topic either it would be fruitful for the people who seek the job. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 topic and shall explain all points up to the end. Countries like India, with high populations and below poverty, more than 50%
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
people are unemployed.
This
Linking Words
 is because India is a developing country. But the Government should think in
this
Linking Words
 case. The government should provide mobile phones to the people who can not even survive, for them buying a phone is very difficult.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it would be an aid to find the work and they could not have a need to pay to seek and travelling for their career. Mobile phones should be provided to those who are below poverty.  In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, people are more advanced using the
internet
Use synonyms
. Many online courses and knowledge could be accessed by the
internet
Use synonyms
. The government should provide free faculties for the usages of the
internet
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 would be helpful for those who can not afford the highly paid courses or are not able to spend more money to travel.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, people could get online knowledge related to their or could get some new knowledge.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, many people are dining online business nowadays, so they could think about other sides too. In conclusion, the Government should not provide free
internet
Use synonyms
 and phones to everyone. But should provide phones along with free
internet
Use synonyms
 to them,who are below poverty.
Submitted by hKc47$p# on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: