IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female study in every subject. Do you agree or disagree

#universities #numbers #study
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Nowadays due to the feminist
moviment
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movement
 more women are becoming relevant in workplaces where before was only
accupet
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occupied
 by men. The universities are the
first
 place where
this
moviment
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movement
 of change should start and in
this
 essay
Add a comma
,
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I will give some
reason
 why I agree which the number of women and men should be the same in universities. The society
in general
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, in general,
show examples
give
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gives
show examples
 to women more extra housing responsibilities than for men.
For example
, in a
tradional
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traditional
 family it is common
g
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to
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ive the
responsibility
 clean the houses, take care of the children, preparing lunch and dinner for the mother while for men do not
share
these same
Change the determiner
this same responsibility
these same responsibilities
show examples
responsibility
 because of his works required more of him and he is tired to do house duties. Incentive the same number of women in
u
Add an article
the
a
show examples
niversity will allow shows that everything must be
share
 in a relationship because
Correct your spelling
women
womens
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women
show examples
also
 want study and women
also
 want to
achivment
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achievement
 their careers.
Althoug
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Although
, women have theses dreams it is always let as a
second
 plan because they have so much
responsibility
 which
are not
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are not shared
show examples
share
 with men.
Furthermore
, another
reason
 is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
 men had priority to start their study in past years. Whereas, women had to stay at home doing all these house works because universities
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 not allowed to women at early 19 sec. Because of it men had the access to study before
w
Add an article
the
a
show examples
oman and they are currently the majority in workplaces and they have
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 high salary even if the women do the same job. For
theses
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
reason
, when the
university
 incentive the same number of male and female they are
incentiving
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incentivizing
incentivising
 more women in workplaces and more salary competitive and fair for both gender and
also
 it is giving to women the same benefits which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 given for men. In conclusion, because of the men must
leran
Correct your spelling
learn
share
 the
responsibility
 at home to give more time and allow women
a
Add the particle
to
show examples
ttend
university
. And, along with
give
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giving
show examples
 the same opportunities which before
was give
Change the verb form
was given
show examples
 only for men in
u
Add an article
the
a
show examples
niversity are some
reason
 which I agree that the numbers must be equality for women and men at universities.
Submitted by dandara.garcia on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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