In todays world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Nowadays, many individuals invest more of their funds in things that improve their looks because they do not want to appear old.
This
is happening mostly
due to
peer influence. I
also
think
this
is a positive trend because it makes
people
feel good about themselves and can improve their productivity.
In addition
,
this
makes
people
relate better with others. A major point to consider on why
people
tend to spend more
money
on their appearance is the effect of peer influence on individuals.
This
means that when
people
see other individuals of their age group looking younger, they are motivated to
also
undergo procedures done by these ones.
For example
, most adolescents would use particular facial products, it is introduced to them by friends who appear to look more beautiful from the use of these products. I think spending more
money
to look young is a positive development because it improves
people
's perception of themselves.
In other words
, when
people
appear younger than their age, it helps their self-esteem and
this
can
also
improve their quality of life.
For instance
, undergoing cosmetic facial surgery could make someone happier as they appear to look more beautiful and smile more.
Furthermore
, investing
money
in things that make
people
look younger can
also
improve their productivity.
For instance
, undergoing a knee-replacement surgery improves the gait of an individual helping them to walk faster and
this
will improve their mobility at work. In conclusion, more
people
are spending
money
on things that make them appear younger than their age because of peer influence. I believe
this
is a positive development because it improves the self-esteem and quality of life of
people
.
Submitted by beansola on

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Task Achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the task equally. While you discussed the reasons for the phenomenon, you could provide a more in-depth exploration of whether the development is positive or negative with a balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Aim to create more developed paragraphs. While your essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, the ideas within these paragraphs can be further expanded.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing skills effectively to organize your essay more logically.
Task Achievement
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Youthful appearance
  • Societal norms
  • Media influence
  • Self-esteem
  • Confidence
  • Professional competition
  • Health and wellness
  • Cosmetic enhancements
  • Medical technology
  • Anti-aging products
  • Invest in appearance
  • Beauty standards
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