In todays world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

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Nowadays, many individuals invest more of their funds in things that improve their looks because they do not want to appear old.
This
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is happening mostly
due to
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peer influence. I
also
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think
this
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is a positive trend because it makes
people
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feel good about themselves and can improve their productivity.
In addition
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,
this
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makes
people
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relate better with others. A major point to consider on why
people
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tend to spend more
money
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on their appearance is the effect of peer influence on individuals.
This
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means that when
people
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see other individuals of their age group looking younger, they are motivated to
also
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undergo procedures done by these ones.
For example
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, most adolescents would use particular facial products, it is introduced to them by friends who appear to look more beautiful from the use of these products. I think spending more
money
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to look young is a positive development because it improves
people
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's perception of themselves.
In other words
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, when
people
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appear younger than their age, it helps their self-esteem and
this
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can
also
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improve their quality of life.
For instance
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, undergoing cosmetic facial surgery could make someone happier as they appear to look more beautiful and smile more.
Furthermore
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, investing
money
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in things that make
people
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look younger can
also
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improve their productivity.
For instance
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, undergoing a knee-replacement surgery improves the gait of an individual helping them to walk faster and
this
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will improve their mobility at work. In conclusion, more
people
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are spending
money
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on things that make them appear younger than their age because of peer influence. I believe
this
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is a positive development because it improves the self-esteem and quality of life of
people
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.
Submitted by beansola on

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Task Achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the task equally. While you discussed the reasons for the phenomenon, you could provide a more in-depth exploration of whether the development is positive or negative with a balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Aim to create more developed paragraphs. While your essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, the ideas within these paragraphs can be further expanded.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing skills effectively to organize your essay more logically.
Task Achievement
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Youthful appearance
  • Societal norms
  • Media influence
  • Self-esteem
  • Confidence
  • Professional competition
  • Health and wellness
  • Cosmetic enhancements
  • Medical technology
  • Anti-aging products
  • Invest in appearance
  • Beauty standards
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