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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, an increasing number of children are using the internet at a very young age and often without adult supervision. This situation may expose them to various dangers online. What challenges do parents encounter when trying to manage their children’s internet usage? What solutions can be implemented to address this issue?

In modern society, a growing number of youngsters are left unsupervised
while
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 accessing the
internet
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, which exposes them to numerous dangers.
As a result
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,
this
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 can lead to
children
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 facing exposure to inappropriate online content and interaction with online predators, and end up being harmed. There are several solutions to tackle the problems,
such
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 as implementing or strengthening parental care tools and crystal clear family rules on
internet
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 usage. One of the major issues is having access to inappropriate content,
such
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 as viewing sexual, violent, and brainrot material. Watching pornography on unrestricted websites is unhealthy for
children
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's mental health; it can confuse their understanding of proper sexual knowledge. Excessive screentime on brainrot videos on social media may disrupt brain growth
due to
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 minimal exposure to useful and educational knowledge, which results in poor performance on literacy and numeracy examinations.
In other words
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,the intervention of violent films may affect
children
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's behaviour, causing them to perform brutal or reckless actions
to
Change preposition
towards
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 parents or close friends.
Besides
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 that, the presence of online predators can
jeopardize
Use the right word
jeopardise
show examples
children
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 by luring them into pitfalls
such
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 as shooting nude pictures of themselves or sexting. The most effective ways for dealing with kids browsing the
internet
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 without parental guidance are installing parental control apps on their mobile devices to restrict screentime, tracking search history, and strengthening filters. By all these means,
children
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 can have better sleeping patterns and acquire more knowledge rather than receiving misleading information from the
internet
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.
Nevertheless
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, parents setting family rules and regulations
also
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 allow
children
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 to understand the bottom line.
For example
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, limited phone usage in public areas. In conclusion, the best counteracting methods for viewing unhealthy content and having contact with online predators are the installation of parental control apps and the establishment of strict rules for
children
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and is clearly connected to the thesis statement.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to provide more detailed explanations or relevant real-life scenarios.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs for better flow.
task achievement
You have identified important challenges that parents face in managing their children’s internet use.
task achievement
Your solutions are practical and relevant, showing a good understanding of the issues.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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