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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

#countries #children #people #government #responsibility
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In
this
 modern era, the world is changing a lot as compared to the past and due to the technological development
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,
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mostly everyone depends on the machinery.
This
 is the main reason for the obesity of youth and children. I personally believe that it is
government
's social duty to improve everyone's
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 knowledge. In the following paragraphs, I have some strong arguments to support my view.
Moreover
, parents are equally responsible for their kid's
health
.
Firstly
, most of the parents are working and they dont's have enough time for their kid's proper meal. Because of it mostly children are eating fast food and
this
 is the main reason for the overweight.
Secondly
, children are spending most of their time on the internet and they
also
 play games online
instead
 of outdoor activities. Apart from
this
, soft drinks are very common in society and it is the main reason for the unhealthiness.
For example
,
g
Add an article
the
show examples
overnment must have to put more taxes on sugary drinks, So people will think twice before buying it. Because cold drinks are known to be addictive.
However
,
g
Add an article
the
show examples
overnment have authority so they can provide free
health
 education and
this
 thing will pupil's knowledge about their body. They can
also
 organise outdoor activities for children and encourage them to participate in it and
this
 thing will help to fight against obesity. Overall, kids are the future of the nation. Parents
also
 have to motivate their children for physical activities. To conclude, it is
government
's
first
 responsibility to keep youth healthy and I have fully agreed with it. Because if they make some rules for the better
health
 of children
then
 it will be beneficial for the society as well as for the country.
Submitted by rushipatel1953 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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