IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with educational degrees. Therefore, the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while they are still in prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#studies #show #crime #rates #degrees #rate #criminals #prison
Many people believe that educating prisoners during their jail time will reduce the chance that they may recommit crimes.
This
 is based on the fact that the percentage of criminal cases is lesser within people who have high
education
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss if I agree with the statement. Some prisoners might refuse to study and even if being pushed, the quality of training might not be high.
For example
, many criminals do not aware of their behaviours and believe that what they did is meant to protect themselves.
Thus
,
education
 might not convince them to be better persons but a waste of time.
Furthermore
, if those criminals were forced to study, there might
also
 be negative effects because they may distract other prisoners.
As a result
,
education
 might not be a good option for some prisoners.
However
, it is clear that teaching criminals open up opportunities for them after getting released.
For instance
, they might learn some pieces of knowledge that would help to find jobs afterwards
such
 as baking, cooking or making handmade products. Since it is extremely difficult for imprisons after returning to a normal life, having a skill may be a key to be accepted among others.
Moreover
, some prisoners might find peace after learning starting to read books as they realize their crimes were wrong and how they should redeem from them. With all of these reasons, learning new things may help reducing crime rate since it can prevent prisoners from recommitting crimes. To conclude,
education
 might not be effective for all prisoners but it may help a large number of them to prepare for their life after being kept in prisons. In my opinion, it is certain that
education
 helps to reduce the crime rate because it gives people a chance to work and live as normal.
Submitted by jeannguyen.ca on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: