IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is possible for a country to be economically successful and have a clean environment. Others argue that these two aims are not compatible. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #country #environment #two
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Many successful nations lifted their
country
Use synonyms
's economy by keeping in mind
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
certain environmental factors,
while
Linking Words
 other conflicts
that these
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
two separate things which are impossible to resolve at a time. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will look at both sides of the argument and
therefore
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 will give my opinion. First of all, individuals believe that protecting the
country
Use synonyms
's cleaning standards will have a positive impact on the
country
Use synonyms
's economic growth. Take
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
 department,
for example
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,
can
Correct pronoun usage
which can
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 generate a large amount of revenue,
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
by holding all the cleaning regulations alive. Tourists are likely to visit
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 destination which has a satisfactory atmosphere and is fully equipped with all the safety and cleaning hazards.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some argue that these two majors are independent of each other. They claim that nations can only raise economic growth by eliminating several issues
such
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 as low literacy
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
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, poverty, and higher inflammation rates.
In contrast
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,
further
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, they stated how would it be possible for a state to keep going on the cleanliness standards, until and unless we have not done
yet
Rephrase
so yet
show examples
 with the bold points of concern. In my opinion, both arguments have equal weightage under different circumstances. But, I think there may be some other factors involved in lifting their economy side-by-side with cleanliness standards.
From
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In
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 the past, it has been seen that all major points are being ignored by the government and local councils.
Therefore
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, I believe it would be a difficult task for underdeveloped countries
in strengthening
Change preposition
to strengthen
show examples
 both the economic and cleaning factors.
To conclude
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, many individuals contended that it is undoubtedly possible for a
country
Use synonyms
 to advance their economic and environmental aspects, but several nations are still facing
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
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 continually. I think chief constituents of the states are held responsible for the betterment of their nation,
otherwise
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, the problems will
going to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
even worsen.
Submitted by ali.humas80 on

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction provides an overview but lacks a clear thesis statement. The conclusion is weak, and there is inconsistency in the use of examples. More relevant and specific examples are needed to support the arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and presents both sides of the argument with a clear opinion. However, the position taken should be more clearly presented, and specific examples should be used to support the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • environmental sustainability
  • policies
  • technology
  • commitment
  • green technology
  • renewable energy sources
  • carbon emissions
  • pollution
  • industrial development
  • production
  • consumption
  • depletion of natural resources
  • loss of biodiversity
  • unsustainable
  • consumption patterns
  • sustainable development
  • technological innovation
  • global cooperation
  • circular economy
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