IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some say that advertisements of toys and snacks have a huge impact on children and their parents, and therefore advertising to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your own opinion.

#say #advertisements #toys #snacks #impact #children #parents
The line graph illustrates the total number of visits in thousands to
two
 new music websites over a period of 15 days . With 120,000 views the pop parade was the most visited site between the
two
 on
day
 1. It maintained the same number of viewers till
day
 three,
however
, started declining steadily each
day
 with some little ups and downs to 40,000 visitors on 9th
day
.
On the other hand
,for the Music Choice number of visitors almost remained the same between 20,000 and 40,000 till
day
 11, except for once on 3rd
day
. From
day
 9 hits to the Pop Parade rose steeply to about 150 thousand on
day
 11,
then
 it declined for
two
 days and again skyrocketed to around 0.17 million, whereas, the Music Choice overtook the Pop Parade on 12th
day
 with approx 120,000 people visited it and remained almost same for
two
 days and had a decrease in the figure on the final
day
. Overall, both sides improved in their total viewers when compared to 1st
day
 with the Pop Parade being the most preferred one on most of the days.
Submitted by jomontjacob23 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: