Life has become much more stressful compared to our parent’s generation. As a result, stress-related illnesses are increasing around the world. Why is stress such widespread in the modern world and what do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress?

#life #parent’s #generation #illnesses #world #stress

Stress and all its related illnesses spreading widely

in contrast

with the past. One of the main factors for

this

tension is

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

life demands and the side effect of the new technology. spending leisure

time

doing outdoor physical activities,

also

spending more

time

with family and friends can help to

releaf

Correct your spelling

relief

people from a busy week. Its obvious life is getting more demanding, and having only the essentials to live is more expensive than before. people are forced to have

a multi-task daily routine schedules

Correct the article-noun agreement

a multi-task daily routine schedule

multi-task daily routine schedules

show examples

Therefore

, it's adding more strain on the individuals.

for example

Add a comma

show examples

both parents need to

work

in order to be able to pay for all the bills and their children needs, studies

shows

Change the verb form

show

show examples

spending the one to two hours in the morning preparing children to go to school by its own as if a whole day

work

this

result that parents

reachs

Correct your spelling

reaches

reach

their

work

already exhausted, and by the end of the week they are fully draining.

Beside

Replace the word

Besides

show examples

this

, the new technology has changed the way of living and working. individuals are spending most of their

time

in front of the computer to finish their

work

task. not to mention the long working hours that cause people, to reach

Add an article

the

show examples

ome end of the day tired, and the easiest thing to do is watching TV or playing

vedio

Correct your spelling

video

game in their relaxing

time

instead

of doing something more healthy. In conclusion, individuals need to use their leisure

time

wisely, by doing some outdoor

excersies

Correct your spelling

exercises

exercise

and seeing friends and family members and spending

Remove the article

apply

show examples

quality

time

, sometimes only talking to a friend can help with releasing so much pressure and worries.

this

is important for the life and health of each person.

Submitted by zainab on Mon Oct 12 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Due to the effect of globalization, the culture of some countries are influenced by others. Some people think this is a natural process. Others think this is a threat to cultural identity. What is your opinion about this?
There are those who believe that the globalization is a phenomenon that have affected the culture around the wolrd and it is threating the culture identity. Some argue that this change in culture part of a natural process. I believe, that this process is nurturing the culture, that is part of evolution and not necessarily had a bad influenced on peoples identity.
4.5
band
Many museums charged for the admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?
During these days it is a trend that people are charged for some museums all over the world, while some of them are free. It is true that artifacts needs to be taking care of and that costs money. It is a fact. I think its more of a disadvantage to charge people for museums because of two reasons. Firstly, many people would rather free museums over costly ones everyone would rather free stuff in anything. Secondly, not being charged is a reason for everyone to visit museums.
6.5
band
Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging.
Nowadays waste such as plastic and paper has increased by 10% each year damaging the environment. Some people believe factories and shops should offer less packaged products. Others consider each individual as one who decides to buy a certain amount of packaged items. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.
4.5
band
In many countries, the level of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?
The increase in crime in certain society has been changing during the last century on different scales. Every nation has a specific socio-economic system which is the main cause of inequality worldwide ending in a vast number of crimes due to the poverty nowadays. This essay will discuss the different causes of crime and how individuals can manage them to reduce their consequences.
6
band
Some people think that only the best students should be rewarded. Others, however, think that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people think that only the best students should be rewarded. Others, however, think that it is more important to reward students who show improvements.

Life has become much more stressful compared to our parent’s generation. As a result, stress-related illnesses are increasing around the world. Why is stress such widespread in the modern world and what do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress?

Fully explain your ideas

Due to the effect of globalization, the culture of some countries are influenced by others. Some people think this is a natural process. Others think this is a threat to cultural identity. What is your opinion about this?

Many museums charged for the admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging.

In many countries, the level of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Some people think that only the best students should be rewarded. Others, however, think that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your opinion.