IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The advances in air travel are focused only in first class and this seems to have left others with no benefits at all. Do you agree or disagree?

#advances #air #travel #first #class
Some people believe that
first
Add a hyphen
first-class
show examples
class
 passengers are grabbing more attention with advantages, economic
class
 travellers fewer benefits
instead
. In my opinion, as the technologies have improved a lot and bringing up more benefits as the social
class
 as well.
Firstly
, the Business
class
 really offers much dominance to passengers i.e. pull out their bed, private area to work with power outlet, lounges, private shower areas
also
 they have a private screen to entertain themselves. At
this
 innovative world, technologies have brought so many benefits for the economic
class
 travellers as well i.e. they have
also
s
Add an article
a
show examples
pecial screen to enjoy the movie or some other show, offering quality food with great services.
Although
 the cramped area may be caused
Verify preposition usage
by
show examples
passengers for discomfort in long haul flights,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
other facilities are being developed with the budget.
Nevertheless
, the fatal air crashes have fallen dramatically in over a couple of years. Apart, a lot of airlines have been giving so many other facilities and offers to passengers in order to board the flights.
However
, the official
class
 has extra perks to enjoy but social
class
although
 being
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
advantages of luxuries. Another benefit can be all appreciated by all is the speed at which modern jet planes are now able to reach their destinations making distant travel more frequent and faster. In conclusion, regardless
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
the price of their ticket, the economic
class
 passengers as well
Verify preposition usage
as
show examples
having luxurious facilities except
Add the preposition
for
show examples
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
space.
Submitted by Neha Saini on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: