IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this outwiegh the disadvantages.

#phones #internet #people #outwiegh
Mobile phones and the
internet
 have become a vital part of our lives. They come with us anywhere we go and it can be said that mobile phones and the
internet
 are parts of people. With the help of them, people may connect to anyone and anytime. Especially in COVID-19 days, people who were separated from their loved ones had a chance to get in touch with their relatives, friends and parents.
However
, those tools harm the health of people. If all the aspects are taken into consideration, the advantages of mobile phones and the
internet
 outweigh the disadvantages.
Firstly
, being in connection with our loved ones is the most important advantage of these tools. People travel all over the world and work in different countries, they cannot be with their loved ones all the time.
Additionally
, those tools help people in order to get in touch with each other.
Moreover
, they enable people to share their experiences, difficulties of their lives and most beautiful moments with friends, colleagues and parents.
Secondly
, people may learn all the events that are happening all over the world at the same time, they can have knowledge of news about the world, new articles, new music and new exhibitions.
Also
, you can see an exhibition via
i
Add an article
the
show examples
nternet or you can experience to see a museum via only your mobile phone. In conclusion, mobile phones and the
internet
 have lots of advantages. They made our lives easier than it was and the newness is still ongoing with mobile phones and
i
Add an article
the
show examples
nternet.
Also
, we need to know how to use
i
Add an article
the
show examples
nternet for our own good and make the lives more fantastic.
Moreover
, people should see the advantages and make them serve for an easier life.
Submitted by aydanszade on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: