IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Governments in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on foods and beverages with high levels of sugar. Some think these taxes are a good idea while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#governments #countries #taxes #foods #beverages #levels #sugar #think #idea
Most countries created taxes for meals with a lot
Add the preposition
of
show examples
sugar. Some people think that created taxes for meals is
e
Change the article
an
show examples
xcellent idea ,but
other
Replace the word
others
show examples
disagree with
this
 .I think that will be beneficial to people .
This
 essay will discuss both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of view. On the one hand,
this
 will be
goo
Correct your spelling
good
show examples
 to the health of children, because buy sugary foods will decrease that solves the modern issue.
Moreover
,
also
 adults will buy more healthy products ,that will affect their life.
For example
Add a comma
,
show examples
scientists tested the productivity of people after 30 days of non-sugar days ,as the resulting creativity rose to 30 per cent and people felthtem light and they can work more hours with productivity. It shows that tariff can
On the other hand
, because of law
Add a comma
,
show examples
the illegal purchase will rise . If the price created most wealthy people can pay ,
however
 foods with high sugar limited the money for
this
 will increase ,because people like to buy limited things.
For example
, band to the opium created rose of illegal buying and adults begin
Add the particle
to
show examples
buy opium the twenty per cent more. To conclude, the tax for sugary food can be beneficial,while it
also
 affects illegal buying of
this
 product. In my opinion with
this
 tax government must popularize the healthy diet and increase the number of society with a healthy lifestyle.
Submitted by aldaniw9854 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • processed foods
  • punitive measures
  • revenue
  • public health campaigns
  • awareness
  • government overreach
  • personal freedoms
  • unhealthy diets
  • economic burden
  • sugar-related health issues
  • consumer behavior
  • taxation
  • high levels of sugar
What to do next:
Look at other essays: