The government should invest more money in teaching science than in other subjects for a country development and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #science #subjects #country #development #progress

Some people think that governments should

allowcate

Correct your spelling

allocate

more money in

science

study rather than other subjects which can help the

development

of a

country

. I disagree with

this

notion. In

this

essay, I will consider both sides

Correct your spelling

the argument. There is no doubt

science

is around our life,

such

as technology. We use

Add an article

show examples

omputer or mobile phone in our

daliy

Correct your spelling

daily

life that makes us more convenient to communicate with each other.

For example

, many corporations through

Add an article

the

show examples

nternet to connect their

cosumers

Correct your spelling

consumers

or business partners which help them to achieve the goal.

Moreover

, we

also

use

these

Change the determiner

this

show examples

kind of technology to connect with our friends.

For instance

, we use apps to send

massages

Correct your spelling

messages

show examples

and others can receive them immediately.

This

makes the process of the connection faster and smoothly.

On the other hand

Change the article

the

show examples

development

of a

country

is not only relating to

science

. Accept

science

, we

also

need

others

Replace the word

other

show examples

professional to create our

country

, like athlete, artist and so on.

Therefore

, the best way should be all-round

development

. The evidence is if there are just scientists,

then

other jobs would be

no body

Correct your spelling

nobody

show examples

to do it.

In addition

, all-round

development

also

benefits

Change the noun form

benefit

show examples

for our

country

. In every different

feild

Correct your spelling

field

, we

also

need various

spcecialist

Correct your spelling

specialist

This

can help our

country

become stronger. In conclusion,

although

Add an article

the

show examples

cience subject is necessary

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because it

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

people to communicate easily and the connection

become

Change the verb form

becomes

show examples

faster.

However

, I strongly that all-round

development

is more important.

This

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

we need

Add an article

show examples

ifferent specialist to develop our

country

and it makes our

country

become stronger.

Submitted by yeahkubi on Wed Oct 14 2020

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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