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What are the advantages and disadvantages of young people doing volunteer work?

#people #volunteer #work
Nowadays, more and more youngsters are
getting
Verb problem
becoming
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 aware of the condition of the present society. For the betterment and upliftment of the world, the youth of 2020 is participating in the social task willingly. Through
this
 essay, I will discuss the different advantages and disadvantages of volunteering done by the young generation.
To begin
 with, the biggest upside of working
this
 way is that humans can work on their own terms and conditions
due to
 which they grow psychologically and emotionally in a positive direction .
Furthermore
,
as a result
, numerous people lead a joyful and satisfactory life .
For instance
,
according to
 a survey conducted by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Columbus University, it was observed that the population that worked as freelancers
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 had higher levels of oxytocin hormone in their body which is responsible for happiness.
On the other hand
, certain downside needs to be taken into account. To commence with, sometimes many individuals who choose to work for organizations with a mindset of helping
underprivileged
Correct article usage
the underprivileged
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, tend to get tricked by some forged trusts or
NGO's
Change noun form
NGOs
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. Because of
this
, innocents lose faith and confidence in the whole human race. These kinds of cunning beings play con and take undue advantage of people working willingly with clean intentions to do great for the ones in need. To summarize, volunteer work is trending and it
holds
Verb problem
has
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 a great effect on the youth. It has both pros and cons. Even though millennials get the opportunity to perform with utmost freedom
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
show examples
, in certain situations they get played by conmen.
This
 critical balance of right and wrong is there with volunteering.
Submitted by gargmitesh on

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task response
The introduction does not clearly outline the structure of the essay. It should explicitly mention that the essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of volunteering by young people. The conclusion should also summarize the main points and state a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The organization of the essay is somewhat haphazard. The ideas are not presented in a clear and logical order. Connectives and transition words should be used more effectively to improve the cohesion of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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