IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#country #people #world #poverty #answers
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There has been a global issue of poverty and countries have their own ways to tackle it. In my opinion, the main reason behind it is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 lack of
education
 opportunities for poor families,
moreover
, there is a huge imbalance in the distribution of wealth
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the country between these two classes.
This
 essay will illustrate ways to control the consequences of
above-mentioned
Correct article usage
the above-mentioned
show examples
 reasons. Primarily, it has been witnessed that less
privilege
Replace the word
privileged
show examples
 people do not get access to schools and colleges because they can not afford the hefty fees which these schools charge. Sometimes, even basic
education
 becomes a challenge for poor families. To manage
this
 situation, the government is required to intervene and take control of
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 sector and define a specific quota for the
economic
Change the word
economically
show examples
 weaker section
along with
 dedicated schools and colleges to enrol
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people coming from poor families only.
For example
,
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decade,
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
western
Capitalize word
Western
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 countries have demarked their educational institutions for children from a poor background, resulting which they now have 10% more talent ready to help the country
in killing
Wrong verb form
kill
show examples
 poverty in some or the other way.
Secondly
, there has been another factor which usually gets ignored is the imbalance in wealth
Change preposition
between
show examples
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the rich and the poor,
also
this
 gap is increasing. Again, the government needs to play a vital role by introducing policies where the wealthy class should
become
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a helping hand in bringing the other side of the people to
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 levels and at least have an opportunity to build wealth for themselves.
For instance
, there should be a policy which mandates
Capitalize word
Fortune
show examples
fortune
Capitalize word
Fortune
show examples
 500 companies to contribute 5% of their revenue to
economic
Replace the word
the economically
show examples
 weaker
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
show examples
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
show examples
 and
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 them build
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 for their survival, eventually
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 towards reducing the gap
To conclude
, the entire nation would
require
Wrong verb form
be required
show examples
 to come together and become a helping hand to each other.
Education
 and
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 policies to reduce the gap between
rich
Correct article usage
the rich
show examples
 and poor
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 would
the
Add a missing verb
be the
show examples
 best
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 point to deal with
this
 ever-increasing fungus on society.
Submitted by Vinesh on

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task response
The essay adequately addresses the reasons for world poverty and suggests ways to help the poor. However, there is a need for more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the reasons and solutions. The response to the task is somewhat complete but lacks depth and clarity in presenting comprehensive ideas. More specific and relevant examples can enhance the response and make it more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the logical structure of the essay could be improved for better coherence and cohesion. There is a need for clearer organization of ideas and smoother transitions between points. Use of cohesive devices can further improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
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