Nowadays a growing number of boys and girls within normal weight ranges have an intense fear of gaining weight and therefore get anorexia. Why do you think a lot of teenagers have a strong desire to be skinny? What can be done to prevent this eating disorder?

#boys #girls #weight #ranges #fear #anorexia #teenagers #desire #disorder

People now are caring about their appearance deeply, especially their weight. They concentrate too much on being thin

thus

causing some psychological problems. I think

that is

because of the trend of the world. Having the right concept of beauty is very important. Social media is the key to the result of tending to be thin. People want to catch everyone’s eyes and follow the latest fashion trend. Stars on the screen are so fit and beautiful.

Besides

, there are lots of clothes are suitable for thinner people.

As a result

Add an article

the

show examples

ublic will follow the wave and lose weights in an unhealthy way.

For example

, my friend has a standard BMI of 21, but she still wants to lower the number and always complain to me that she is so fat. I know she wants to be the same as her idol.

Therefore

, I believe that the issue is influenced by the entertainment industry. Most important of all, correcting the value is the crucial step. People have to know that beauty is not only about appearance but

also

a health condition. If you did not have a healthy body, you would not have a chance to enjoy it.

Thus

instead

of losing weight, having a balanced diet and regular exercise is many more benefits. It will improve your body, and make you have an optimistic

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

As a result

, the government should educate the citizen of the correct information. The entertainment industry

also

has the responsibility to reduce promoting the idea of being thin. Parents

also

have to teach their children the importance of health rather than focus on

the

Change the word

their

show examples

appearance. In conclusion, the main factor to cause people struggling with their weight is

Add an article

the

show examples

rend of entertainments. The governments, entertainment industry, and parents all have the responsibility to educate their children on having a balanced diet and work-out for a

healthy

Replace the word

health

show examples

condition which is the most crucial thing.

Submitted by a2993241 on Thu Oct 15 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays a growing number of boys and girls within normal weight ranges have an intense fear of gaining weight and therefore get anorexia. Why do you think a lot of teenagers have a strong desire to be skinny? What can be done to prevent this eating disorder?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention toit. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

ln many parts of the world, children orc given more freedom than in the past. ls this a positive or o negative development?

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?