IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their work place. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

#people #time #homes #work #place
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In our contemporary society, people are giving more time to work and prefer to spend more time without family.while the individual will suffer from health and food. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both pros and cons,
however
Linking Words
, personally, I believe that living at
home
Use synonyms
 is more comfortable
then
Linking Words
 away from
home
Use synonyms
. There are many advantages to working away from the
home
Use synonyms
.
firstly
Linking Words
, they will more independent and they will give more attention to their office as well as they take good results and earn more salary.
second
Linking Words
, they are responsible for making cooking, cleaning
home
Use synonyms
 and paying the bill.
for example
Linking Words
, spending more time to a company will take a good position in that company. so, it is a good situation for a company as well as the employer.
However
Linking Words
, there is some disadvantage of working away from
home
Use synonyms
.
first
Linking Words
, health would be affected as well as they
also
Linking Words
 feel loneliness so they face mental problem and depression.
In addition
Linking Words
, the relationship will be not strong. people when live together can understand better. when they are away from
home
Use synonyms
 they gradually decrease bonding.
hence
Linking Words
, lack of safety is one and issue when living alone ,
this
Linking Words
 type of situation can't see in a family .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they will not meet their cousins as well as they do not celebrate the festival with their family so, their life is totally boring without cousins and family.
hence
Linking Words
, no one help to clean
home
Use synonyms
 that's why they face financial issue To sum up, overtime work in the office can increase salary and build your confidence. but, living alone is very expensive and face a health issue. so, that the advantage outweigh the disadvantages
Submitted by NIKUNJ MANOHAR MEWARA   on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: